Aloha! This is the week four, it’s been a great, yet busy week (started a gratitude challenge, still doing an extra parenting class, preparing to leave the nursery for the year, redid the kid’s homeschool curriculum blocks) checking in a day late for the second week in a row…

Pono & Mind:

🗹 Be the change you want to see happen instead of trying to change anyone else. -Arleen Lorance “Did this by giving a lot of love to my kids and behaving well as a mom (teaching and spending some time with them) instead of expecting them to behave well, and being respectful to my sister instead of expecting her to be respectful to me.”

🗹 Create your own reality consciously. -Arleen Lorance “I found a phrase where Canada appologizes for expanding into the North with an absense of awareness, somehow it helps me and gives me courage. The U.S. where I live would never appologize in a meaningful way for stealing land and commiting horrible acts of violence on the natives, but just a little bit away is a country that is willing to admit the truth and change how they view and run things, that’s inspiring to me. I was inspired when the gave back native lands before, but thinking that they are doing the best they can to do what is right strengthens my resolve to be fair and respectful to my kids as I take a respectful parenting class and try to shift my mindset to fix the relationship strain that has been going on for the last two years between my daughter and I.”

☐ See problems as opportunities. -Arleen Lorance “I didn’t do that this week, my son got a bad hair cut and I grieved it as a bad hair cut, I didn’t find a way to enjoy being sad that I missed his first hair cut or that I didn’t like the way he looked now.”

🗹 Have no expectations, but rather, abundant expectancy. -Arleen Lorance “I did well with that, I am trying to change the way I parent, yet not expecting the new changes to help, hoping that something changes for the better, yet not expecting any specific instant fixes.”

🗹 Read books. Do puzzles. Brainstorming. Drawing, painting, and/or sculpting. -Demitri Martin “Did coding puzzles with my daughter, brainstormed a lot of curriculum with my sister, disciplined a lot of discipline and conflict resolution issues, thought deeply about what life I want to live and raising awareness about what my choices are and how much I can get done with the time and energy I have and how to accept my limitations.”

🗹 Gratitude Challenge – Consistent gratitude for 30 days. -Nomz “It wasn’t easy for me, because I won’t let myself lie about what I really feel. I for some reason struggle to be greatful for the big things, my husband supporting me, my kids being in my life, my sister helping me, but I can be grateful that my sister wore a silly pizza hat that made me feel happy, that my son’s hands pressed together at the finger tips resting on his chest look so cute and peaceful, that my daughter said it was the happiest day of her life when she realized I do love her still, that my husband bought me a greenhouse to keep my papaya tree sprouts alive. I’ve been trying to be consistently grateful, it’s been taking a lot of effort, but I’ve been learning a lot about myself in the process. It feels like my brain is broken when it comes to gratitude, but I’m just doing my best, exploring and determined to finish at least the 30 day challenge.

🗹 Respectful Parenting – The philosopher Immanuel Kant said that rational human beings should be treated as an end in themselves and not as a means to something else. The fact that we are human has value in itself. If a person is an end-in-themself it means their inherent value doesn’t depend on anything else – it doesn’t depend on whether the person is enjoying their life, or making other people’s lives better. We exist, so we have value. “I’m starting with respectful parenting, but after the class is over I plan to expand slowly towards the rest of my social connections, my birth family, my husband, my friends, everyone I meet, people I don’t know… Due to the parenting class I have really started treating my children’s feelings with more respect, even though I don’t agree with their logic, I can respect that they feel however they feel.”

Mālama & Body:

🗹 Eat better. -Demitri Martin “My dad made home made poi and my sister grew home made mung bean sprouts so I actually ate better this week.”

🗹 Exercise. -Demitri Martin “I did T25 lower focus and started integrating martial arts into exercise time.”

Aloha & Relationships:

🗹 Did you let people help you/provide others with opportunities to give? -Arleen Lorance “I accepted an invitation to a birthday party and had the best time I’ve ever had at a party. There was a beautiful black cow (Malu) who lives right on the ocean and it gave me hope that maybe my life could be as great as that cow’s life someday.”

🗹 Did you receive all people/someone as beautiful exactly as they are? -Arleen Lorance “I’m so much closer, at least I can do that for both my kids now and almost my sister and myself.”

🗹 Did you help a friend/stranger? Uplift those around you? Do something nice for someone? -Demitri Martin “I was nice to my daughter a lot this week and also started a ritual of dancing and singing to my son once a day.”

☐ Practice Confidence: Be forthright and proactive in your life. -Demitri Martin Boldly Celebrate Yourself – Nomz

🗹 Walk Away: From anger, ego, people who put you down, fear, the past. -Dr. Jurisharma “Walked away from anger at having my ideas called stupid, walked away from fear that if I don’t discipline my daughter she will not find her own way safely in the world.”

Kuleana & Career/Personal Management:

🗹 Did you set weekly goals? -Demitri Martin “Yes, here, changed three of my weekly goals.”

🗹 Did you take daily steps toward achieving those goals? -Demitri Martin “Yes, it’s not everything everyday, but it’s something everyday.”

☐ Money: Keep careful track of your income and expenses. -Demitri Martin “I didn’t keep careful track, I did keep track more and still don’t spend a lot, but I hate focusing on finances so I didn’t really keep careful track.”

☐ Errands: Do your cleaning, marketing, and pay your bills on time. -Demitri Martin “Dishes were all washed, but put away late, laundry was all washed but folded days later, it’s not like me, but all the other things I am doing take time, the parenting class happens right when I usually clean, gardening takes extra physical energy, looking into finances drains me emotionally, everything else I did took away from the energy that feeds the cleaning…”

14 Points of 18 Points = 78% for the third week of September. The system feels really right, not too easy and not too hard. I am glad I did the things that most reflected my values and put the most important things, my kids and my well being first, yet I would like to not have the clean laundry laying around in a basket all week next week also… There has been a lot of change, the gratitude challenge, the parenting class ext, but it’s been really good change. I’m glad because the early part of the year felt wasted when I was sick with pregnancy and just surviving taking care of the newborn. I’m ready to have things get back in order soon hopefully.

What really happened the next week?