⭐ Life Improvement Fifth Week

Aloha! This is the week five, it’s been a really challenging week, but I’ve been steady in making small amounts of progress and keeping up with my priorities and new habits through great effort, my mind has been in a fog.

Pono & Mind:

πŸ—Ή Be the change you want to see happen instead of trying to change anyone else. -Arleen Lorance “Started dancing to “Endless Love” and “Just the Two of Us” with my kids, it’s really fun, one of the very few things we all enjoy.”

πŸ—Ή Create your own reality consciously. -Arleen Lorance “I started going to the homeschool kids play meet up at the park and it’s really awesome to put myself around people that make me feel like homeschool is fesable and have ideas about alternative teaching methods. Now that most people I know do homeschool I don’t feel like it’s weird and I have to defend it anymore. I didn’t even realise that I was holding those views until I let them go.”

πŸ—Ή See problems as opportunities. -Arleen Lorance “I did do that this week, I was super tired and started counting how many times my kids woke me up at night the next day. It was 12 times. Four from the baby, eight from my toddler having nightmeres… so, the next day I accepted that I was low energy and was proud of myself for even doing simple stuff like keeping up with dishes, childcare and school time instead of being upset I didn’t do extra cleaning and gardening. Also in other ways I was able to do this a lot more this week.”

πŸ—Ή Have no expectations, but rather, abundant expectancy. -Arleen Lorance “I did have the expectancy that we could find someway to keep the dogs from excaping and attacking the neighboor’s dogs, I didn’t know how, I didn’t expect anyone in particular to buy gates, but I did ask my husband and he said yes and my father also bought other gates, so soon we should have both an indoor and outdoor solution set up for a problem that’s been going on for over a year.”

πŸ—Ή Read books. Do puzzles. Brainstorming. Drawing, painting, and/or sculpting. -Demitri Martin “Did simple jigsaw puzzles with my daughter, finished a digital drawing for my emotional diversity serries, read a little bit of “Only Love Today” and “The Whole Brained Child.”

πŸ—Ή Gratitude Challenge – Consistent gratitude for 30 days. -Nomz “I wrote a post about how hard it’s been to be grateful, called “The Challenge of Gratitude,” I’ve been trying my best to be grateful most of the day and it’s hard to explain, it hasn’t felt like a light switch turned on, it has been more like a dimmer switch turned up or instead of a dirty tile scrubed clean, a dirty tile scrubed in a way that has less residue, yet isn’t clean yet.”

Mālama & Body:

πŸ—Ή Eat better. -Demitri Martin “My daughter made poi in school, it was the best tasting poi I’ve ever had.”

πŸ—Ή Exercise. -Demitri Martin “I did T25 total body circuit and abs.”

Aloha & Relationships:

πŸ—Ή Respectful Parenting – The philosopher Immanuel Kant said that rational human beings should be treated as an end in themselves and not as a means to something else. The fact that we are human has value in itself. If a person is an end-in-themself it means their inherent value doesn’t depend on anything else – it doesn’t depend on whether the person is enjoying their life, or making other people’s lives better. We exist, so we have value. “I’m starting with respectful parenting, but after the class is over I plan to expand slowly towards the rest of my social connections, my birth family, my husband, my friends, everyone I meet, people I don’t know… I’ve been able to speak just a little bit more respectfully to my family this week, not really where I want to be, but I’ve had two proud moments.”

πŸ—Ή Did you let people help you/provide others with opportunities to give? -Arleen Lorance “I accepted an extra chicken I didn’t need, but could use, it made my dad really happy. Even though we can afford chicken, getting gifts from the school really makes my father and my daughter happy, much more than if we just bought the same things.”

πŸ—Ή Did you receive all people/someone as beautiful exactly as they are? -Arleen Lorance “I’m accepted all the people I met exactly as they were, but I didn’t have to deal with any child abusers or anything tough.”

☐ Did you help a friend/stranger? Uplift those around you? Do something nice for someone? -Demitri Martin “I thought about helping a neighboor who wanted a ride to the mailbox, but it just didn’t work out logisticly this week.”

πŸ—Ή Practice Confidence: Be forthright and proactive in your life. -Demitri Martin Boldly Celebrate Yourself – Nomz I started taking my hat off inside, even though my hair is messed up by wearing the hat (the left side points down and right sticks up) and I started using a sunflower emoji here and there as a reminder of Nomz’s post to celebrate yourself.

πŸ—Ή Walk Away: From anger, ego, people who put you down, fear, the past. -Dr. Jurisharma “Walked away from anger many times, not 100%, but many times this week.”

πŸ—Ή Connect with Loved Ones: Look Up – Rachel Stafford. Just look up from the phone/computer/chore ext at the eyes of the person talking to you.

☐ Connect with Loved Ones: Look In – Rachel Stafford. Try to look inside to how someone else could be feeling.

πŸ—Ή Lōkahi: To communicate and illuminate healing and more importantly, to reunite that which has been broken back into unity, and awarenessβ€”in short, to renew… – Dr. Maka’ala Yates “Helped my sister and dad talk about repairing the drier and putting a dog gate up without fighting.”

πŸ—Ή Aloha Κ»Δ€ina: Clearing out a slug infestation, setting up herb bed for cooking, building grow beds for root vegitables.

Kuleana & Career/Personal Management:

πŸ—Ή Did you set weekly goals? -Demitri Martin “Yes, here.”

πŸ—Ή Did you take daily steps toward achieving those goals? -Demitri Martin “Yes, it’s not everything everyday, but it’s many things everyday.”

☐ Money: Keep careful track of your income and expenses. -Demitri Martin “I didn’t keep careful track, keep better track, but not careful track still.”

πŸ—Ή Errands: Do your cleaning, marketing, and pay your bills on time. -Demitri Martin “So glad my marketing is no marketing.”

18 Points of 22 Points = 81% for the last week of September. I’m doing most of what I say I want to be doing, but somethings feels off still. I enjoy the system having so much diversity of goals from the origional Demitri Martin system, yet I need to totally think it through and align it with my own values at some point in the future when I have more time. Maybe when I get back to California at the end of the month.

🎭 Emotional Diversity Project September 2019! πŸŒ»

πŸ“… Free Calendar
πŸ•ŠοΈ Letting Go of Slug Dispair

Tonight is the first night I feel optimistic about winning the war on slugs here in Puna, for the past few months I’ve been downhearted thinking I can’t do anything to get rid of the slug infestation.

πŸ€” Risks of Rat Lungworm Eosinophilic Meningitis Death > Risks of Sodium Ferrous EDTA

Sluggo gets moldy and it always rains here in the rainforest of Hawaii… but Home Depot actually had another type of pet safe-slug killing iron supplements (Corry’s sodium ferrous EDTA, a chelated iron ion) that was even cheaper than Sluggo. I’m sure not everyone loves the use of any pesticide, but I’d rather use this pet safe iron that has been used for over 70 years than just have a ton of slugs known to have parasites roaming my home, patio and sneaking into the kitchen sometimes… yuck.

πŸ’ž Aloha ‘Δ€ina = Love – Cherish – Protect the Land/That Which Nourishes

Tonight was the first application of the new stuff. It takes a few weeks to work, so hopefully, when I leave Hawaii in 18 days I will have killed most of my biggest problem already. The slugs here (especially Parmarion martensi) carry Angiostrongylus cantonensis parasites which are often fatal to children, which I have two of right now. So I’ve lived a bit in fear this year since a slug snuck in the house and greeted me while I made my morning coffee, a slug carrying a brain-eating parasite… and I was already afraid of them since a traumatic incident as a girl. My family and I banded together to remove over 300 slugs off our property at the end of June and beginning of July, ending in Slugpendence day. But when my husband visited a few months later we noticed that there were still plenty around and the Sluggo applications hadn’t reduced the population much (probably because it rains so much that it is immediately moldy and not attractive to slugs).

🌱 I have many dreams, establishing a family farm, enriching my children’s minds…

This month I heard “heΒ keikiΒ aloha nā mea kanu” (like beloved children are the plants), for the first time. I understood deeply what it meant. I lost a tomato plant I left near the weeds when my father cut the weeds back and it hurts deeply. It was my fault, I assumed responsibility for not moving it or labeling it, I didn’t blame anyone, wasn’t mad, yet it hurt so deeply to lose that plant, the child of the plant I planted last summer… there is such a deep grief to losing plants if you are a “plant person.” I didn’t think of myself as a plant person, because I haven’t had much success yet, but I am. A cat lady starts with one cat (probably); so even without having a huge, successful garden, I am still a plant person, because for some reason plants charge me, inspire me, and love me (and I them). That may sound crazy, but that’s how I feel about it. If plants can’t show love by feeding us, healing us, sheltering us, inspiring us, comforting us, guiding us, then how is love even shown and what does it consist of? Plants love in a quiet way, an unspoken way, a way that many people would not appreciate, even as they survive on the benefits… but anyways, even though I love plants I didn’t want to put the garden ahead of my kids, didn’t want to love plants easier than people anymore. So the phrase “heΒ keikiΒ aloha nā mea kanu” shamed me into remembering to put my two kids first. Even though I spent five minutes sprinkling slug killing iron pellets tonight when my son was crying under his aunt’s care, overall this month I have shifted to putting the kids first for the vast majority of the time.

πŸ’ž The Garden is my LōkahiΒ “Harmony and Unity with Something Bigger”

It’s hard because the garden is a huge part of my dreams, it’s a huge part of my well being, it’s a journey of finding myself, it’s my jam, but the property is large (for me), dauntingly full of challenges, and ruggedly full of thorny weeds, towering ginger and uneven mounds of lava rocks. There must be 100 things I wanted to do in the garden this year that I didn’t get to yet, but I know that if I had done them I would have wanted to do 100 more than that also and that nothing really replaced me in the hearts of my kids, sure they enjoy time with grandpa and auntie, but they are still small enough to really hunger for all the love and attention I can possibly slow down enough to give them.

βš”οΈ Metaemotion September 2019

After thinking about my thinking in September I believe that things are changing for the better. It’s a struggle to change, maybe it doesn’t have to be, but the only way forward I have found right now is through the challenge with the fear. I know that I want to prioritize what I will never be able to do again (watch my last baby grow up and cherish both kids) even though I prefer gardening and I would love to have some physical success to show myself that I can trust myself again. I’m confronted with how I’ve been careless in my life, how I’ve been scatterbrained instead of finishing projects, how I’ve put the most important things behind the least important things. I’ve been confronted with a lot of unpleasant truths about myself, but I haven’t lied to myself when the pain comes, I’ve faced reality and decided what I have time and energy to improve right now, in the present moment, and just let go of the idea of failure, that I should have done more, been more, saved more than I really could have at this real moment in time and I’ve strived to become a more patient, loving mother (knowing I will still be blunt and gruff and myself) and I’ve strived to take care of the land we live in starting with the inside out, meaning our family values, the harmony between our family members, the laundry and the dishes and just beginning to grow our own produce. I don’t think I’ve been that successful this month, I haven’t had much success with the parenting class I’ve been taking, I haven’t cleaned up the huge mess in the garden and I haven’t got my head on straight about the curriculum being too much and not having enough downtime in the day to do dishes without ignoring the babies cries for a few minutes without feeling guilty, but I have done the best I can to take small actions towards what I want in every way, where ever I could find the opportunity. I’ve been trying my best without giving up to do the things that matter to me all month and when I need a break, I’ve taken a little break and when I am sad I’ve grieved, but always while finding some small step I can still take forward.

I did get a hair cut. Thank you for sharing a bit of life with me! Aloha 🌻