This is the same project, last week I realized all of the habits were unified by me trying to be the change I want to see in the world, so I changed the name. The project revolves around restoring harmony to my mind, myself, my life in the three arena of humankind (how I treat and enjoy people), spirituality (for me clearing my mind and accepting my emotions), the world (my service to the world ie martial arts and teaching my kids, my physical home ext), and the balance between spending energy, time, and money between the three arenas.
Arena 1: Interaction with Human Kind – Life Time Goal: Learn to Treat Myself and Others with Dignity and Unconditional Positive Regard. Tools: Assertive Communication, Tactical Empathy, Observation, Sports Casting, Look Up, Look In.
Tiny Plan: Use problems as an intentional time to connect with other people.
🗹 Connect with Other Humans – “It’s been going well, it felt backward, meaning that I had to set limits on letting my adult family drain my energy. Having intentionally less connection, in order to have a better quality connection, and leave myself enough energy to do the childcare that I have to do for my 8-month-old and my four-year-old. In a word: limits.”
🗹 Read books or Articles – “Read two articles about self-regulation and co-regulation in regards to babies (from my son’s RIE class) that remind me of the book I read earlier this year: How Emotions Are Made, which explains the concept of a body budget. It’s a great, but very complicated, book explaining how recent neurobiology debunks almost all of what science and popular stereotypes currently think about emotion formation. It confirms a lot of truths, that there is no one static “happiness,” “sadness,” ext, that men and women have a huge variety of being more or less emotional, a man can easily be more emotional (my husband is) and a woman can be less emotional (I am) and vice versa. It’s so easy to jump to conclusions about people and life based on very few examples, “How Emotions Are Made” somehow helped me validate me just being the way I am, even though I would like to become more patient, more open to enjoying life, more proactive in making more breaks for my health, I learned a lot about how and why I am how I am in that book and it was really helpful in finding wonder and curiosity in learning about both myself and others.”
🗹 Seek and Discuss Healing, Reunite that Which has Been Broken into Unity, and Awareness (in Short, to Renew) – “Today I realized that I prefer doing this with people instead of alone, even though I am an introvert I do enjoy interacting with others in this way quite a bit.”
Arena 2: Spirituality – Life Time Goal: Think about Balancing Serenity, Proactivity. Tools: Gratitude, Kaizen, Kon Mari, Minimalism.
Tiny Plan: Keep Kon Mari decluttering. Keep Clarifying My Goals and Plans.
☐ Malama Pono – Be forthright and proactive in your life. – “There was a lack of being proactive, I wasn’t able to speak up and say “hey I need more time to write, I need more time to think, I need more time for myself, think of something else to do for a short time, because the things I do to maintain my peace and composure and enjoy life matter to this family as well as what you want to do.”
🗹 Radical Acceptance – “This helped, not every week is perfect and accepting that helped both Friday when I took my baby for vaccines and didn’t do my evaluation on time and also overall that in my human failings.”
☐ See problems as opportunities. – “In viewing problems as opportunities to connect to others I have to view the problems as true opportunities mentally first; first it starts in my mind and then I can take that view to the interaction, but it starts by centering myself mentally, if I try to skip that grounding step it doesn’t work for me to fight the reactivity in the heat of the moment.”
☐ Create your own reality consciously. – “This week I felt like I was living one step behind life instead of one step ahead of it, maybe I was rushing again, I suppose I am a slow thinker and living at a fast pace makes me unable to think about the way I am choosing to live.”
Arena 3: The World – Life Time Goal: Responsibility to Take Action Towards my Inner Callings Tools: Permaculture Gardening, Martial Arts, Stoic Living, Self Leadership.
Tiny Plan: Teach martial arts Sundays 11 AM.
🗹 Aloha ʻĀina, Teaching Martial Arts – “Going well, I didn’t know when I started why I wanted to teach martial arts to girls, on a flight I watched “Rise of the Wahine” about female volleyball players, it explained many successful businesswomen are athletes, it’s not athletics in the name of athletics or even financial success, but athletics as a vehicle to give an extra road personal power and self leadership to those who lack it (whether male or female, I don’t exclude boys, I just focus on having the accommodations females would need to feel safe and comfortable in martial arts that most schools lack, boys and men sometimes train with us and are 100% welcome). The school isn’t big, the class isn’t perfectly organized, but my heart is 100% behind it and each week I and at least a few others show up and that’s the most important and meaningful thing (other than taking care of my kids) that I do in life.”
Balance Between Arenas: Harmony – Life Time Goal: Resolve Imbalance Between Productivity and Rejuvenation to Safeguard Resilience.
Tiny Plan: Keep Clarifying My Dreams, Intentions, Goals, and Plans with this Check-In.
🗹 Clarify my Dreams, Intentions, Goals, and Plans Here – “It still isn’t perfect, but it’s much more streamlined today, than ever before. More like a puzzle than a pile of puzzle pieces.”
☐ Money: Keep Careful Track of Your Income and Expenses. – “Lost and found my debit card, so still a “not yet”.”
🗹 Cleaning – “Going good, so surprised that I was able to add vacuuming a few times a week without getting tired or bitter, now that my son is crawling there is a good reason.”
☐ Creative Endeavors: Brainstorming, Drawing, Painting, Sculpting, Writing, Architecture. – “I could feel that I didn’t do enough of this, when I do just a few hours a week it makes me feel alive and well, for some reason it’s hard for me to justify taking the time for myself to do these things (maybe hidden fear?), but when I do them just a little I feel differently about myself and about life. I just realized that this is rejuvenating for me.”
7 Points of 12 Points = 58% this week, that feels right! I was so frustrated this week, doing all the important checkboxes, doing the things that make my family’s life smooth, but neglecting what makes me feel centered and what I enjoy because I was rushing and mismanaging my time.
Thank you guys for supporting me with your comments and presence via reading, it’s comforting to know I’m not alone as I deal with being an imperfect person who is grappling with managing life in this fast-paced, modern, yet beautiful world! 🌻
I started last week to try to make a better list of my completed articles, under the menu’s newspaper section: 📰 “Today’s Fresh Articles” is a scrolling list of articles in reverse chronological order, and the rolled-up newspaper in the menu: 🗞️ goes to a page that categorizes my main topics such as organization, self-leadership, family life, seeking inner peace, but I just started linking the articles to their appropriate categories, so it’s completely a work in progress. Another menu section under the newspaper heading 🐄: “about me” is a mini-blog within a blog, called my “inner citadel” it has an image of my true emotions for the day (it usually gets updated daily) as well as short journal entries about the meta experience of blogging (my overall feelings about how the 100 blog challenge is going, how my journey as a writer is going or how I’m adjusting to major life changes). I’m planning to fix the main topic article menu in the near future and maybe add a traditional archive page with titles someday, but I’m pretty weak on the tech side of blogging, so it’s a start from level 0 kind of learning process on that end. ✌️
I JUST REALIZED:
I just realized what this system measures, it measures success at living the way I would want to live, which is a direct response to the book “Hands Free Life: 9 Habits for Overcoming Distraction, Living Better, and Loving More,” the habits that make me feel I’m living my best life are not identical to Rachel Macy Stafford’s in her book, but they are the ones that allow me to keep track of how much I am living my goal of living that lifestyle of overcoming distraction, living a better life and loving more. Whenever I fail to live that way the weekly score reflects that, from the outside people don’t see it or notice it, but it validates my sense of frustration and gives me a tool to check where things went “wrong” ie what important things didn’t get a slice of my time-energy-money that week. Just knowing that allows me to naturally adjust the following week, after seeing what went wrong I don’t make a concrete plan to change, yet the changes unfold once the awareness is there. 💡