Today is the second day of me trying to write “off the cuff,” often I have written about topics that are relevant to my life, which I thought about for months or years, but I wanted to see if writing more consistently would make me feel more of a “professional” or be good for my creative process in some way. So far, I feel like it takes more courage to write daily, it makes me confront my internal hesitation. It’s not that I don’t have anything to write about, but it is a bit hard for me to decide what is the “best fit” for today. I feel scattered brained today. Yesterday I had a brain fog and I wondered, if I do write with brain fog, maybe the next time I have brain fog I won’t feel defeated. That worked. So maybe if I write again today while feeling scatter brained I will at least know that that feeling as well can’t stop me from reaching my goals.
I read an article by a blogger who’s courage and clarity inspires me, she said “Be You. Find your voice. Fall in love with your creativity. And then, just do it.” (The Article) -V
Interestingly enough I’ve done step 1 (be authentic), I’m doing step 2 and step 4 (find your voice and just do it), but I still haven’t done step 3 (fall in love with your creativity) because I don’t know my own voice yet, so it is difficult to love it without really knowing it.
Often I read articles by people who already have the habits I want to make, but say they want to make habits I already have, so without thinking my methods will work for everyone I want to offer two things I do everyday to the world and maybe they will be helpful for some.
Today: Forgiveness and Oatmeal
Life is a series of conflicts between people, but conflict resolution is very under taught and under rated. About two years ago I stumbled on Ho’oponopono, (pono means what is right), it is from Hawaii, but having grown up in Hawaii, I know that even there this special ritual is rare there. It’s very easy, free and almost magical, but it has to be experienced to be understood. Since I found it we use it almost everyday in my household.
When one person wrongs another in a small way they say “I’m sorry,” “please forgive me,” “thank you,” “I love you,” it’s crazy how much easier this makes forgiveness. Sorry alone is said too much, so much without a sincere heart that it takes the “please forgive me” just to get the feeling of a sorry, the “thank you” makes the speaker feel better and the “I love you” makes both people feel better.
After a lifetime of being the kind of person who doesn’t forgive I learned that the people who I was “punishing” by being mad at couldn’t care less about me being mad at them, instead it was only harming me and keeping me from peace. I heard the saying, resentment is like drinking a poison and expecting your enemy to die. It really hit home. The people I was resentful towards may not have been “entitled” to forgiveness, but it didn’t matter, because keeping so much of my internal hard drive (mind) occupied with anger and disappointment had poisoned my own “joie de vivire,” so if I wanted to have a free and open mind and enjoy my life I had to learn to let it go for me.
I started little by little letting going off the perfectionistic standards I held myself and others to, at sunset, sunset was my cue to let go of all the bitterness I could for that day, and day by day I got more loving and accepting, happy, but also full of energy to pursue the dreams perfectionism had always kept me from being able to start.
One day I was looking for meditation videos to teach my daughter to meditate and I found a really good one about forgiveness, it is for children, but worth watching for adults too, because I just haven’t found another one for adults that is as good or clear (if you know one please comment).
This video explains the ritual of Ho’oponopono:
I’ve experienced the power of all these words, but also the emptiness of all these words as well. When a heart is aligned with the simplest of words, it’s like they become magical, the same when you couldn’t care less, something is missing in the most elegant phrases. A powerful part of Ho’oponopono is that the other person doesn’t need to be there or forgive you, it’s you forgiving you for wronging them. It can be used person to person, but it can also be used internally from you to yourself. True forgiveness is a powerful thing, it frees your mind towards new mountains to climb rather than keeping yourself imprisoned in an effort to warden the wrongs of the past.
I took it slow, letting go of the very smallest resentment I could, as many as I could day by day, until two years later it feels like I let go of all of my resentments and it’s a great feeling. It cost nothing, but is priceless. It’s a feeling of weighing half as much as before. It makes it easier to love and hope, more mental power is free to do new things. It’s not that I don’t remember the past or have boundaries to keep me safe, it’s just that the bitterness is gone from the memories. Sometimes I run out of coffee and it’s possible to run out of internal bitterness as well, and in my opinion worth it.
So in trying to be myself, here is my breakfast (everyday). Sometimes I have blueberries (in the winter) or strawberries (in the spring) or cinnamon (in the fall), but it’s always about four hand fulls of quick oatmeal, with water, microwaved for 2:40 seconds. Much like forgiveness having simple meals frees me up to do other things I love (more than cooking). It’s really healthy, with a lot of fiber I don’t get in most my food, it lowers cholesterol that my family has a genetic disposition to have problems with (mine was over 200 at age 16 already), it’s inexpensive about $7 for a week or a week and a half (then I get frozen wild berries for about $8 that last a long time as well), it takes less than 5 minutes from start to finish, which I love, and I actually really enjoy eating it. Stirring it when done makes it a lot better just like with rice. Having a deep enough bowl keeps it from spilling when boiling. The fun bowl is my favorite dish I’ve ever owned $9 at Marshall’s, I don’t cook in it, but I cook for my kids and I and portion my oatmeal into the log bowl (unless someone else has stolen it because it is so fun to eat out of).
So that’s something healthy, easy, fast, and cheap to eat, that I really enjoy (that’s a hard combination to find). It’s $1.50 a day ([$7+$8]/10 Days), plus the bowl $547.50/Year. It is carbs, but carbs are not created equal, carbs with fiber are different, since the fiber is hard to digest some of the carbs go towards the body’s digestion. It’s enough energy for me to teach martial arts, exercise and take care of two kids so I think it isn’t too small of a breakfast (many people eat nothing for breakfast) and I am very thin (in my opinion) so it isn’t necessarily too many carbs depending on what the other meals of the day have…
I’m not saying a better meal isn’t better, but I am hoping to kindly help put a death to the myths that 1. There isn’t time for breakfast. 2. Cooked food is too fattening. 3. All carbs are bad (some are needed for energy). 4. Spending less money has to mean eating something you don’t like. 5. Simple meals are fine for singles but not good enough to serve your family.
That’s how I found inner peace and easy breakfast. It may not be your way, but I hope to inspire you that it’s possible and perhaps not as hard as you might imagine.
Some of the quotes that helped me were:
“Change is possible, if you seek it”– Unknown (to Me)
“It matters that you don’t just give up. There is always something you can do and succeed at. “– Stephen Hawking
“Life is either a daring adventure of nothing at all.”– Helen Keller
“The journey of 1000 miles begins with one step.”– 老子 (Old Master Lao Tzu)
“You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take. Even though there is only a 1-5% probably of scoring”– Wayne Gretzky
“Probleme kann man niemals mit derselben Denkweise lösen, durch die sie entstanden sind.” (Problems can never be solved by the way of thinking that first created them.)– Albert Einstein (Disputed)
“I shall pass this way but once; any good that I can do or any kindness I can show to any human being; let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”– Etienne de Grellet
Thank you to all of my readers, I would not be hurt at all if you unfollow as I am trying to write daily and check in as you have free time, I know that it can be too much to read, but I feel inspired to write daily and see how it does feel different than what I have done before. 🌸