I’ve been thinking about the times I feel at peace, it’s not always because I’m doing more or making less mistakes, it’s when I am living in a balanced way.
I am still making plenty of mistakes, but I face them with love and honesty and I am at peace with the mistakes now.
I am getting some things done, but I’m very much in the middle between the super clean super moms who work (I don’t) and the moms who can’t create stability due to being burnt out and overwhelmed or lacking tools.
What I have done successfully lately is balance how much I can do and how much I have to take care of myself, I won’t call it self care because I take care of all of us (my son, daughter and I) together, we eat three meals together, we exercise together, we have some time apart, but actually most of the “care” activities we do together and that has made it easier for me to manage my time. There is a 1 hour breakfast block for everyone’s breakfast to get cooked, eaten, cleaned, this includes me, but not in isolation.
What I’ve been finding is many parts of life have a very fine balance, like joy vs meaning, either extreme is less wonderful than a middle ground. Love vs impact, can be spending time with your own family/dog/spouse or helping the community/world. Even significance and truth are in conflict, the truth is we are such a small part of the world, yet in the hearts of those around us we still hold significance, we are nearly insignificant at the same time as we are emotionally someone’s sun, moon or universe.