Step #1 Let’s Start with Labels: Lovie’s Post
Who am I right now?
I am a human.
I am a sometimes kind family member.
I am a somewhat organized teacher.
I am a long lost friend.
I am a semi-consistent writer.
Step #2 What is Truth? Lovie’s Post
What would I change?
Speak respectfully with my loved ones, less excuses.
Speak up before I blow up.
More boundaries with the kids, less rules.
Organize my teaching more.
Talk to my friends more, don’t worry about bothering them.
Write a bit more consistently, but without being militant about it.
Step #3 Prioritize the Problems Lovie’s Post
What matters most now to me?
A. More boundaries with the kids, less rules.
B. Speak up before I blow up.
C. Speak respectfully with my loved ones, less excuses.
D. Write a bit more consistently, but without being militant about it.
E. Organize my teaching more.
F. Talk to my friends more, don’t worry about bothering them.
Step #4 Eating the Elephant Lovie’s Post
1. Setting the goal.
A: Make some family rules like on Nanny 911, without making ones we don’t need.
3. Creating the plan.
A: I’ll make a list of the ones from the show and we can vote as a family at the family meeting, shooting for 3 rules. But I should also make a list of my personal boundaries as I discover them.
4. The overall and specific decision process.
A: Looking online for a list of rules from the show I found out there is a book for that “Nanny 911: Expert Advice for All Your Parenting Emergencies” SWE (Smiling with Excitement).
5. Set concrete commitments and followthrough with action. Just purchased the book for $1.99, will read it on Fridays and discuss it with my family on Sunday. Will make a Keep Note so I don’t forget.
6. Wrapping up all the loose ends required to complete the goal.
A. I need accountability, I’ll publish a blog post with this list, it always helps me be accountable with myself (it’s been like magic).
Step #5 Monetary Goals Lovie’s Post
I realize I want to pay my husband back for the book so I need some kind of small yet paying side job in writing or computers… I know it’s a small amount, but I miss that feeling of paying my own way for the things I want that are personal.
Step #6 Finding Your Bliss Lovie’s Post
What makes me feel happy? The forest, dark chocolate, moss.
A person who reminds me of that? My mom (since we lived together), a clerk at Trader Joes who encouraged me to eat as much chocolate as I wanted to (first person to ever do that – thank you), Zack (a coworker who moved to Oregon).
The location that reminds me of that? Seattle, Belgium, New Zeland.
Smells that remind me of that? Pine, cedar, water, soil, asylum, honeysuckle, leaves; chocolate smell, paper wrapper smell; moisture, soil.
Sounds that remind me of that? Birdsong, wind in the leaves, the sound of dewdrops drying in the sun a tiny hiss, the sound of the wind, the sound of a campfire; a bag hitting the kitchen counter, the paper wrapper being undone, the crunch of my teeth on the bar; silence, maybe a windchime in the distance.
Colors that remind me of that? Emerald green like a fern in the sunlight, brown like black coffee, emerald green, but bluer than the ferns.
Textures that remind me of that? Pine needles on bare feet, granite under my fingertips, river pebbles under my legs, moss under my feet; smooth, oily Trader Joe’s chocolate bars, the soft chocolate from the December advent calendar we had in our first apartment; velvet with a spongy bounce back.
paper wrapper smell,
wind in the leaves, ⭐
the sound of dewdrops drying in the sun a tiny hiss,
the sound of the wind, ⭐
the sound of a campfire, ⭐
a bag hitting the kitchen counter,
the paper wrapper being undone,
the crunch of my teeth on the bar,
maybe a windchime in the distance,
emerald green like a fern in the sunlight,
brown like black coffee,
emerald green, but bluer than the ferns,
pine needles on bare feet,
granite under my fingertips,
river pebbles under my legs,
moss under my feet,
smooth, oily Trader Joe’s chocolate bars,
the soft chocolate from the December advent calendar we had in our first apartment, velvet with a spongy bounce back.
Pick 7 that stand out: Seattle, pine, honey suckle, sound of wind in leaves, sound of strong wind, sound of a campfire, sound of silence.
“This is the place I need my mind to be to experience bliss. The type of bliss that gets me through those tough times. I don’t need to actually BE anywhere else. I just need my mind to be there… Because bliss is about how you want to spend your days and time, who you want to spend it with, what you want to be surrounded with, what smells, sights, sounds , and textures you want to experience every day.”-Lovie Price
Step #7 Unmasking the Faces of Change Lovie’s Post
Anticipating tricky issues: for me just actually remembering to stay accountable and check on myself, it’s so easy to forget my intention and just survive each day taking care of my two kids, forgetting how I said I wanted to spend my new 1 hour of free time from 9PM-10PM… going to make a note right now on Google Keep.
Step #8 The Trifecta- Dealing with Labels, Truths, & Problems Lovie’s Post “When you review your previous list of labels, think long & hard about why you have assigned them to yourself- which emotion created it? Was it a positive one? If not- DITCH it.”
I am a human. ✔️
I am a sometimes kind family member. 🗑️
(I realize I can’t really grow into an authentically kind person if I’ll am forcing myself to fake it like fake apologizing is not the same as really sorry).
I am a somewhat organized teacher. 🗑️
(I have kids and live in a bad school district, I choose to teach them, but it’s not “who I am” it doesn’t define me, just something I’m doing).
I am a long lost friend. 🗑️
(I have guilt about not talking to my friends much, but they love me and I’ve always been that way).
I am a semi-consistent writer. 🗑️
(I’m a born writer and even though I’m not “successful” I don’t need to have as much fear about claiming to be good at something I am good at as I do).
So in the end, mostly I’m human. Doing the best I can, believing in a brighter tomorrow, trying to make things better in my own small ways, trying to clear my head in any way, writing or reading, discussion or thinking, trying to make sense of what to me is a huge world.
What the problems were for me: wanting to be able to please my loved ones all the time masked as wanting to be kinder than I am/wanting them to never suffer, wanting to want to teach more than I do, wanting to feel like I have a normal social life when my real one doesn’t look like a TV show at all, wanting to feel like I’m good enough at something whether it is writing or anything.
Step #9 Making Peace with your Demons Lovie’s Post
“So, what do I mean by making peace? I am talking about acceptance, kind of like a piece of DNA. Your demons, whatever they may be, are in fact a part of you. And wherever you go, there will be there. So understanding that is an absolute necessity. This does not mean, however, giving them any control whatsoever… It means acknowledging that yes, they DO exist, and always will, but that they are like the boss you can’t stand, the sibling who acts like a “know-it-all”, the neighbor who seems to keep finding ways to annoy you, that whiney co- worker or your monthly bills. They aren’t going away, and ignoring them isn’t always an option so you have to find a way to deal with them.”– Lovie Price
I’m not so in touch with my own demons, I know I have anger, but it really seems reasonable, I think maybe a lack of consistency and organization is my worst demon, maybe also my tendency to get overwhelmed and put off finding a way to distress, maybe the way I stick my head in the sand and ignore problems until I’m taking an ibuprofen for kidney pain instead of drinking enough water… so 1. Anger, 2. Poor Boundaries, 3. Forgetfullness, 4. Disorganization, 5. Lack of Prioritization Skills, 6. Lack of Being Able to Triage Life, and 7. Denial I Need to Take Care of Myself More. Well, that was surprisingly easy to do… I thought it would be harder.
Step #10 Your Perfect Self Lovie’s Post
“Never give up. Do great things. You can do it and ONLY you.– Lovie Price
Life is good if you allow it to be. So..”
I’m still working on this, I think I have been too uncompromising in the past, hated myself too much for any little failing that would have to be part of growth. So, here’s to trying to “do great things” and allow myself to enjoy the journey as much as I can.
It took a few years to finish this series even in a preliminary way. It’s a small victory for me.
I love the Glass Diva’s blog because it isn’t simply I write something, you read it, thank you we are done here, it’s almost like Alice in Wonderland, you won’t know what to expect, it can be very down to Earth or very metaphysical, it can be very uplifting or ask you to dig deeper into your inner darkness.
I’ve been working on my own challenge, trying to publish 100 posts, Mark Manson’s challenge to potential bloggers to write 100 post before feeling obligated to commit to a writing niche or topic. I’m very close, and I’m starting to feel some pressure to decide if I should decide or keep writing without any self imposed limitation. A wild garden or a veggie garden metaphoracally?
Anyone have any thoughts about that?