Woke up at 6:30 couldn’t get the saxophone song out of my mind from the dream.

CARELESS WHISPER DREAM

I had taken a bath with my dad in a very small home (or hotel room, which I guess can be a home ) with an inner courtyard with a calico? [Yes it was Calico, interested in the science of an imaginary cat’s imaginary colors? Find out more!] brown, white, and orange spotted cat, my sister my daughter and my son started playing music on a video game, kind of like the Just Dance game, but with musical characters instead dancers, one had a portable keyboard like the one the band Cafe Tacuba uses, not sure about the others, done washing my hair, I was watching my kids and sister dance.

Then we all went out to eat, at a food court, I ate at “the last Del Taco in the world,” which had a restaurant setting. I was confused about eating there because there were nice restaurants and I don’t like Del Taco (my husband does, but I don’t). My family specifically brought me there excitedly because they were under the impression I really like Del Taco and it would be such a treat to eat at the last one before they were all gone forever.

I remember something about pastries, but I can’t place it know, there was a large raspberry danish in the rectangle form. Perhaps we had them at the hotel/house?

They took my order at the restaurant, but it was only a drink and an appetizer, I wanted more to eat, but they didn’t give me a chance to order other than a drink and appetizer. The waiter was in a full black suit with a tail, and white ruffled shirt as if it was a very fancy restaurant. Kind of like El Torito, but a little fancier, large wood plank tables, little ceramic pot accents, stemmed crystal glassware.

Careless Whisper was playing very loudly at the restaurant.

I was waiting by myself because the rest of my family was eating somewhere else, other than the last Del Taco in the world, which actually, I didn’t want to eat at, but after they dropped me off because they thought I did, I didn’t say anything about it…

END DREAM STILL WAITING FOR FOOD

After I woke up I couldn’t get the song out of my head, though I didn’t’ know what it was.

“I should have known better than to dance with you, waste the chance that I’ve been given, I know you’re not a friend. Doo doo doo doo doo doo.”

Specifically the saxophone, just would not stop playing in my head, so I looked up the song to see what song it was to see if that would make it stop (it did).

After I placed the song (typed saxophone songs and I should have known better than to dance with you into Google) I typed the dream out. Some dreams get stuck in my head and I’ll analyze those, others I forget and don’t worry about. This was the first dream to get stuck in my head in a very long time.

Since the song haunted me more than any of the events of the dream (sharing a bath tub with my dad wasn’t at all weird during the dream) I decided to look into the song a bit in case the message of the dream was in the song. I don’t know if dreams carry a message from God, my guardian angels, my own psyche or none of the above, but either way it’s a hobby of mine interpreting dreams that helped me out of having night terrors for years.

This song came out the same year I was born, but I’ve always liked 80s music, so it’s come on and off throughout my entire life in the background. It’s not my favorite, but the saxophone is particularly hard to get out of your mind.

ENTER CARELESS WHISPERS

[Intro]
Time can never mend
The careless whispers of a good friend
To the heart and mind, ignorance is kind
There’s no comfort in the truth, pain is all that you’ll find
Should have known better, yeah

[Instrumental]

[Verse 1]
I feel so unsure
As I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor
As the music dies, something in your eyes
Calls to mind a silver screen and all its sad goodbyes

[Chorus]
I’m never gonna dance again, guilty feet have got no rhythm
Though it’s easy to pretend, I know you’re not a fool
I should have known better than to cheat a friend
And waste a chance that I’d been given
So I’m never gonna dance again the way I danced with you

[Verse 2]
Time can never mend
The careless whispers of a good friend
To the heart and mind, ignorance is kind
There’s no comfort in the truth, pain is all that you’ll find

[Chorus]
I’m never gonna dance again, guilty feet have got no rhythm
Though it’s easy to pretend, I know you’re not a fool
I should have known better than to cheat a friend
And waste a chance that I’d been given
So I’m never gonna dance again the way I danced with you

[Post-Chorus]
Never without your love

[Bridge]
Tonight the music seems so loud
I wish that we could lose this crowd
Maybe it’s better this way
We’d hurt each other with the things we want to say
We could have been so good together
We could have lived this dance forever
But now who’s gonna dance with me?
Please stay

[Chorus]
And I’m never gonna dance again, guilty feet have got no rhythm
Though it’s easy to pretend, I know you’re not a fool
I should have known better than to cheat a friend
And waste a chance that I’d been given
So I’m never gonna dance again the way I danced with you

Outro]
Now that you’re gone, now that you’re gone
Now that you’re gone, was what I did so wrong, so wrong
That you had to leave me alone?

“Careless Whisper” – Wham

DEEPER INTO THE CARELESS WHISPERS RABBIT HOLE

Looking up the meaning it was based on a situation that never happened, and the combination of two relationships and a hypothetical heart break that didn’t occur. The writer was dating two girls at a young age and he was imagining if one found out about the other and ended the relationship, and he found out she found out while they were dancing (which they often did) what would that be like? In real life the writer actually started dating a third girl and the second left. Musicians are very classy gentlemen right?

The song writer, George, wasn’t a huge fan of the song, in 1991 he said:

It “was not an integral part of my emotional development…it disappoints me that you can write a lyric very flippantly – and not a particularly good lyric – and it can mean so much to so many people. That’s disillusioning for a writer.”

In 2009:

“I’m still a bit puzzled why it’s made such an impression on people… Is it because so many people have cheated on their partners? Is that why they connect with it?

“I have no idea, but it’s ironic that this song – which has come to define me in some way – should have been written right at the beginning of my career when I was still so young. I was only 17 and didn’t really know much about anything – and certainly nothing much about relationships.”

Well perhaps I can answer, at least for myself, that I didn’t cheat on my partner, but the song connects me to a feeling I’ve had of being in a failing relationship, aware that it is stupid, but pretty mesmerized and unable to leave or even stop trying doing everything I can to stay. It was like, this is stupid, let’s keep doing it forever though.

I was about 25? when I had a relationship with a younger guy (one year younger?) who was still heavily in love with his ex, as far as I know, he didn’t cheat officially, but emotionally he did every day. I thought it would be a passing thing, and tried to be patient, I have no idea why I was so infatuated with the guy in hindsight.

In hindsight, he seems like a looser at worst, and replaceable at best, but in the moment, I was like a moth to a flame, even then, unable to make any logical justification at all as to why my top priority which had been school before became “that guy.” He was funny and cool, he had brown eyes and a smile (I mistook those things as uncommon when they are the most common possible configuration of faces), we had a similar taste in books and music (I mistook those things for a sign of integrity or destiny when they are probably a coincidence).

Quite interestingly, much later he revealed to me our whole relationship was an attempt to put his past relationship behind him. Which in a way shows an attempt of good faith, at least he intended to put the past behind him.

After our failed relationship he had another failed relationship, called me back and was offering to start another failed relationship with me (he didn’t phrase it that way) but I cut him off pretty quickly that I wasn’t interesting.I didn’t tell him why, actually always genuinely wanted to see him happy in life and after what seems like 3 years of a horrible relationship I could see that I didn’t make him happy, a lot of things about me were never going to make him happy. He liked to be the strong one, but in our match up I was 40 times the stronger character, so he never got to rescue me much, he was attracted to submissive partners, which I can be, but not to the level he preferred, he liked someone very into a particular type of fashion I would never be into, even when I did dress up it wasn’t his taste, he said I was dressed for Miami, not LA. I really loved his mom, she was a really sweet lady, she taught me to cook, made me a special dinner on my birthday, I had more good memories with her in three years than with my real mom. Maybe that was a sign we weren’t meant to be, I don’t get along well with my mother in law of the man I married and had children with later, maybe nature intends you not to like your mother in law?

Anyways the song reminds me of “that guy” because he played the Saxophone, I have only known two people who play it at all.

He was such a talented musician, he played drums, saxophone, guitar, and three other instruments I don’t remember anymore.

I don’t enjoy letting my exs live in my head rent-free, I prefer to actively or passively forget them, but some things remain. Surprisingly names are fast to go. They get replaced by other people using the name. Another thing is songs, I try to take my songs back from them if we ever did have special songs. Photos and that kind of stuff are immediately trashed.

I guess I’ve always seen exs are a complete failure and I’ve mostly always hated failure. My intention wasn’t to learn about you or relationships, it was to have a functional relationship, with respect, comradery, mutual admiration, teamwork, honesty, and fair play, if it didn’t work I’m not into over-analyzing what I can learn I’m into throwing the remnants in the trash and trying to walk off as if I hadn’t just fallen down in public.

It was a very humanizing relationship for me. I watched my girl and guy friends get into stupid relationships and wondered how they could do it or why, then it happened to me. It’s quite like being a drug addict, you get high on dopamine from seeing the other person, when you are away long enough you realize you could live better without them, but if you run into them you again want to be around them, without having a reason. Dopamine is pretty much the reason, this person gives me a large and unexpected dopamine hit. And if they also give you a quality, safe, enjoyable human relationship, it’s not a huge problem, but when the dopamine hit doesn’t come with a decent enough seeming relationship you question yourself and find out you have no answer for why. There isn’t a valid logical answer at all. You find out you are being stupid the same way most people do at a point in their lives. And that’s humanizing. Guess what, I’m stupid too.

That guy who left me to go to a concert with his ex after I bought him tickets, remember him, that’s the one I’m going out with tonight, can you fix my hair for an hour so I can look extra nice for a stupid relationship that’s mostly toxic?

I didn’t want it to be over, but when it was over I realized I take care of myself better when I’m not picking up my drunk boyfriend from a party he got board of at 4 in the morning, I realized that the martial art’s class I enjoy happens at the same time he unexpectedly calls me to come over because nothing he liked more than me (his friends, sports games, parties) was going on that day. I realized that life was thousands of times better without him, for me, and actually for him too probably. Because he always hated that he couldn’t seem to love me, he didn’t want to be the villain he always was when we were together.

So, in the end I didn’t analyze the dream yet, just the song, that was in the dream, and that led me to a lot of repressed emotional trauma, which is one possible way to analyze dreams. Connect to emotions you repress during the day, notice they still bother you, let them go to whatever extent possible. I interpret Gillian Holloway’s method like that. She wrote “The Complete Dream Book: Discover What Your Dreams Reveal about You and Your Life.” It’s very good, but I still prefer Michael Sheridan’s book more. Both are good if you are interested in dreams and have time for two perspectives.

DREAM INTERPRETATION IS EASY TO LEARN

I’ve taken a class with a master interpreter in Seattle, but even before that I was able to uncover some of my dreams with book studies. We all dream, we all sometimes wonder about our weird and mundane other life, but it’s not out of your reach to get some meaning out of those crazy dreams.

I’ll interpret my husband’s dream as an example of how easy it is to figure out other people’s dreams:

My husband told me his dream today, that was potentially embarrassing, so let me just share it publicly here…

THE DREAM

He was receiving oral sex from a lady coworker he hasn’t seen in years in front of our son and daughter and he felt like it was wrong.

END DREAM

I didn’t ask who, I don’t want to glare at that lady if I ever meet her.

Dreams speak in trashy metaphors. Having sex is “getting to know someone” kind of. So lets say you have two friends, a confident one and a kind one, if you were having sex with the kind one it means you should get to know how to be kind vs it could have been the one that was confident.

You have to boil down a person to one or two words.

A sister is a female of your bloodline, so it represents your female side often hardly ever your sister. Dreams are almost always about you, not the people in your dreams, they are casted to represent their most noticeable traits (or what you think their traits are).

Males represent confidence and females nurturing, so heterosexuals can have homosexual dreams and homosexuals can have heterosexual dreams and it’s not really a comment on sexuality at all.

Like having sex with a president, would be getting in touch with your inner leadership skills.

So oral sex would be the way you talk.

THE MESSAGE

My husband has been speaking very angrily in front of our kids, though it’s not bad to be authentic, speaking angrily in front of little kids can really scare them, this dream is saying he should speak more like the lady from the dream (who was polite and professional) because the was he was speaking in front of the kids is wrong. Which is at a broader level, being more nurturing, which is getting in touch with his female side, specifically for the benefit of our kids (I wasn’t even in the dream, but our kids were).

Dreams about sex are generally just saying, be more like “that person” you jerk.

The very general translation for a dream about having sex with a man is find a way to have more confidence in yourself and the very broad way to translate a dream about having sex with a woman is be more nurturing (or kind and understanding, empathetic ext).

It’s an awkward subject, but if your objection is that maybe you dream of people you want to have sex with because you are attracted then why can’t you do that all the time? Why do you have sex with your unattractive sister instead of the pretty one sometimes? Perhaps some dreams are fantasies, but I’m sure most of them are not, because most of them are awkward and shameful and you never tell anyone because it’s very weird and people who actually know real dream interpretation are very few and far between.

My mother used to tell me there were only two reason for dreams, you want something or you fear something. I don’t want or fear to eat at the Last Del Taco in the world and my husband doesn’t want to receive oral sex from his old coworker in front of our kids, nor do I imagine he fears it.

Both Christianity and Islam are actually compatible with dream interpretation, they have different ideas for certain symbols, but both of the books I mentioned are very helpful for beginners in dream interpretation, I would imagine you could talk to a pastor or religious scholar about what differs and what is the same in as the books, but it would potentially be a good introduction to be able to figure out the messages your dreams tell you, even if they are simply messages from your brain to you, that’s still a message. The electric sewing machine and periodic table of elements among other useful things were messages from dreams, understanding your dreams gives you a powerful insight into your subconscious mind if nothing more.

Anyways, hope you check out dream interpretation the next time you have one of those weird dreams that gets stuck in your mind, there is a free website: from my teacher Michael Sheridan and he gives away his dictionary which is awesome and he has a really cool (to my taste) call in Youtube radio show where he interprets dreams live and is typically spot on, though admittedly not always.

I have minor philosophical differences with Micheal, I believe old dreams still have meaning, he thinks current ones are better because he assumes you would have grow past old trauma from old dreams already and I know I have not… but I really think Michael Sheridan is the Michael Jordan of dream interpretation and I invite anyone remotely interested in dream interpretation to check out his method the “I am, I need method.”

Eventually I’ll analyse my own dream, but doing your own dreams are harder for me because 1. My dreams are much longer and more detailed for whatever reason and 2. I have to filter out my ego to be able to see the honest criticism of me as not more or less critical than it is, dreams tend to hold a lot of constructive criticism.