Today’s goal: Adding meaning to the week… Getting thorough the day without beating either child.

Hypothetically smoking the word: “SNAFU” today.

Most of my life I didn’t know why the English days of the week were so weird to spell or what they were based on.

Last week I mentioned the days of the week were based on German Gods. Monday – the moon, Tuesday – Tue the warrior God, Wednesday – Odin the king of the Gods, Thursday – Thor the lightning God, Friday – Odin’s wife Fri Goddess of love, Saturday – the Roman God Saturn (foreign exchange program) and Sunday the Sun. And that’s the grandfathered week we still use in a not very Norse world…

Wednesday was Odin’s day (the king of the Gods). He had one eye, the other he traded for more knowledge, I can respect that.

Sometimes, when you learn something, you can’t unlearn it.

I remember taking microbiology in college, it’s a bit sad knowing that there will always be some germs crawling all over you, and your food, and inside pretty much your whole body, and especially in your meat (if you care for it, which I do – I’ll probably be a monster to future generations… alas if they even survive global heating to judge me).

I’ve gotten a bit more tired of the pandemic, which doesn’t seem to be getting tired of existing, no matter how much I scowl at it.

I did some venting, in writing, which I don’t think needs to be posted. Mostly that I don’t care for the pandemic and I’m a bit tired of the “new horrible” calling it that made me chuckle for the first time in a long time. I hope you have a better attitude then me, but I’m a bit burnt out of trying to push myself to be more flexible to change, than I ever wanted to become. My soul is kind of chaffed by sudden changes at this point.

So I’m going to imagine Odin to try to think of a theme to give myself to get through Wednesday better, which has been the hardest day for me since 1990. I’m not really sure why I get burnt out Wednesday.

Today I’m not at my best, yet through facing a lot of unwanted, unpleasant truths and feelings at least I’m ending the day less cognitively dissident and more able to be at peace with the world as it is.

It seems like my trust in the government, stability of nature, and certain survival of humanity is at an all time low. But it always should have been I guess?

The world seems to have very little consistency and logic as a bat disease found in 1 in 20 bats continues to bring my region to it’s knees…

Yet my emotions and imagination are somewhat in my control, I have 1/3 ships still sailing.

I think I lost about $4 on the stock market today, but I’m too tired to evaluate selling until Friday, I think I only care enough to sell about once a week.

I’m grasping at straws to try to keep from being so depressed I don’t get up to feed the kids, or so angry I hurt the kids for doing typical dumb kid stuff.

So, I find myself wondering, in a hypothetical make belief world, what would Odin think about the pandemic?

I suppose death would be very much different to a God. I wonder if they would resent a large influx the way we resent too many tourists at one time?

Would regular people go where Odin lived? I think mostly soldiers went to his area?

The Asatru (those who worship the German Gods the days of the week are still named after) have revived (about 100,000 in and around Norway). I think it’s cool in a way, I’m sure their cultural heritage is a bit tied up in the legends, and I don’t agree with discarding all legends from the past, simply because they threaten some people’s religious identity. The religious people I’ve know who are more whole in their spirituality, don’t seem threatened by historical heritage or variety of beliefs of others. Such as Jerry Jenkins for example, who is a fairly strong Christian, but included Odin in his book left behind as a kind of food for thought.

It’s just somewhat helpful to take another view of the situation that has really become irritating and pretending helps. I guess thought experiments aren’t insanity, when you know and admit you are pretending.

What I have noticed mostly this year is the little things I miss lifted my spirits so much, now without them I see the difference, but looking upon history pretty much every generation has endured worse than mine, so pulling my head out of my as* just a little bit after ranting as much as I needed to (just to myself mostly) I see the need to step up my game in coping with stress, exercise got me to September, but I can feel myself needing more now as I’m getting emotionally burned out by this years “changes”.

I need new coping mechanisms, I need to invent new ways to lift my spirits and I need a change in perspective.

All those things are available, probably free, but before I hit a low, I didn’t see the need to pursue them, so perhaps this low will be a blessing in that it sends me in search for stronger tools to cope.

My sister seems to be doing better than me today, she is in Hawaii (where I wish I was) and I’m in California (where I really am).

This year is really a SNAFU (situation normal all fu*ked up), but at least it’s not quite FUBAR (fu*ked up beyond all recognition). Everything is a bit messed up, but it’s quite recognizable at least.

It’s not as bad as the Great Depression, the Holocaust, WW2, not even close, but I never had coping skills to handle Great Depression, the Holocaust, WW2, not even close…

I got chubby and lost weight once, I worked a lot of hours often, I went to college and had poor life balance, but I lack the skills to cope with disaster on the magnitude that has knocked on my door this time. So far.

I remember hearing that during the Great Depression people enjoyed watching movies that let them mentally escape the unpleasantness at least for a shortwhile.

I’m not a huge movie or TV watcher, but the swap meet, the science center, the library were my escapes from the mundane and frustrating life of having two young children at home, everyday…

So I guess I need to reach a new level of coping skills.

If you always put a limit on everything you do, physical or anything else it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.

– Bruce Lee

One interesting-ish coping skill that has helped me in the past is rephrasing. Like changing the word problem to opportunity, because there is opportunity in problems, the opportunity to learn from or solve or at least experience the problem…

So maybe I’ll find some cornatunitys?

Just possible good things,

1. Possibly less traffic (because of many deaths)? Which is weird because usually in my world 1 death causes an hour of traffic.

2. Possibly less global warming (because of many deaths)? Thanks for going green by being dead corona-virus victims, very low carbon foot print.

3. Possibly job openings in the job I plan to try to get in 9 years… thanks to some of the people who had those jobs dying a painful death?

This is a bit dark, but kind of uplifting.

4. Possibly a slightly less easy to infect future population if people spread out just a bit more rather than rush to refill the same spaces?

5. Possibly human life is looked at as a little bit more precious and war seems a bit less attractive? I hope so, but I don’t know if enough people died to shift that stubborn dynamic of humans towards war.

6. Possibly a boost to the economy because the 80+ population who was most killed off won’t be collecting their social security pay out?

7. Perhaps more living space? Not sure if there will be a baby boom to fill the vacuum or if high costs of living will keep 2 kids as the standard average.

I guess it is possibly a natural response to an over population of a species to have them reduced by disease, it’s a little more stressful being part of the test species.

I wonder if cows would be happy? If they are vengeful because we eat them? Or more neutral? I can’t imagine them being sad. I’m sure some dogs were sad.

I had trouble being sad, I don’t think I will never be sad, but I think I’ve been waiting until it’s over to get a total death count, then be sad, and since it’s not over and I don’t have that total death count, I feel much more unsettled then sad.

It’s somber, but not so sad.

I didn’t find that very helpful, I think because the opportunities came at a cost no one wanted to pay. It’s kind of hard to be cheery about opportunities grown out of the corpses of others.

Perhaps it was at least helpful in showing me why it hasn’t been helpful.

I attended a class with Lei Wang who completed the explorers grand slam, she said the hardest part of the South Pole was the boredom, and the best part was just getting to the pack station at the end, where people were drinking coffee and doing everyday business activities.

The excitement of my life is approaching the excitement level of hiking the South Pole, one foot, the other foot, white on the left, white on the right, white in the middle, the other foot, pulling the supplies, pulling the supplies, making camp, sleeping, waking up, packing camp, one foot, the other foot… it sounds entitled to complain about boredom as people are dying, but I guess I’m dying of boredom as people are dying of bat flu.

I like being inside, but I think it may be the variety level is much too low to enjoy as a human being. For so long our brains evolved to be outside, problem solving in a dynamic changing environment, that’s the core of John Medina’s Brain Rules book.

Our brains were not meant to enjoy being social isolated, nor being quarantined and I’m simply succumbing to a malaise that is perhaps inevitable. But I’ll try to find something to do, this is a wonderful time to be alive, each day is beautiful, yet it’s also become an unpleasant ordeal filled with death and boredom.

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonaide.

When life gives you bat flu, what kind of drink do you make for that?

Lime-aid? Grape drink? Sweet tea? Thai tea? Having trouble pairing this…

Coronavirus victims:

I laughed at that… this year is so tricky to discuss with decorum, so maybe I’ll just abandon decorum in place of honestly.

Earlier this year we told the kids, “be safe, but don’t worry not a lot of people are dying,” “this isn’t what we want, but we can help people not get infected by wearing these masks and not going out,” “don’t worry places will be closed for a few weeks.”

The truth was:

“Be safe, do worry, because a lot of people will die, and our country isn’t well prepared at all, it’s bad, but it won’t get better soon,” this isn’t what we want, but we have to wear these masks and not go out, and lots more people are still going to keep getting sick in our area anyways, but we have to wear these masks because we have very little civil liberty or freedom of choice, especially during this time,” “some places you like will be closed for a long time and some forever, that’s life. Almost no fun places will be open back up soon, so just forget that feeling as best you can. Bye bye fun places, hello learning more multiplication at home. Woo! Maybe it’s time you kids learn the word SNAFU, this situation is a great example of a SNAFU.”

So how’s California? Supplies are good (thank Odin), life is never as crazy as it appears to be on the news, no slides are open for kids, some moms are almost murdering their families out of boredom and stir craziness, infections don’t seem to be over and I’m looking forward to burning my mask that I still hate wearing (whenever that becomes socially acceptable, if it ever does).

🏠

Can someone either let me out or relocate the kids to a concentration camp? (Just kidding, an interment camp, just kidding a work camp, just kidding a space camp?)