“Forgiving and being forgiven are powerful elements of healing for the soul.”– Terry Goodkind
Ikagai = Helping Kids, Martial Arts, Fitness, Art, Music
VALUES REFLECTION JOURNAL:
SAT Faith Can I trust me? 🎵
SUN Unity, feeling comfortable as a family.
MON Proactivity is knowing what I want.
TUE Teamwork is finding how to work smarter in a group.
WED Connection, shareing my passion with the world and accepting others gifts.
THR Purpose know what I can do, what is most importat, where I stand.
FRI Creativity is thinking of new ways to do better.
Social Health: “The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.” – Epictetus I know what it means now to be uplifted, I’m happy to have people that do that in my life now.
Physical Health: It’s been a while since I exercised, but I’m doing a lot of garden labor, so I’m okay with it.
Mental Health: Writing is supercharging my productivity lately, so I don’t want to lose that, it’s also helped me sort out some of the not-nice brain changes from the isolation of the pandemic, I don’t even know exactly what to call them. It’s wasn’t as clear as depression or anxiety, there was a nagging almost meaningless – an almost apathy, there was a disconnection from my emotions, there was a constant feeling of overwhelm – an overwhelming overwhelm, a sense of powerlessness, raging anger, and gigantic mistrust of authority and a murky confused sense of what my real responsibilities are due to the attempted push of the public health’s onto the individual.
My pandemic is over, for a long time I didn’t even process in what way it threw me off, because it wasn’t over yet and I was just trying to get through. But my pandemic is over now, no offense to people who are ill or are afraid or are dealing with it. But I need to move on from dealing with it, to dealing with the fall out of it, that’s where my mind is and my mental/emotional health. I’m declaring it endemic in my mind as of today and I’m going to fully enter recovery now, even if I have to wear a mask at the store or whatever, it’s over for me in my mind as of now, because that is all I could take of worrying about it, there is no sympathy or empathy left that I could provide, I’m 100% empty of being able to participate so I won’t, I am a mental defector now.
Enough fighting inevitable death, enough face imprisonment, enough marginalizing human beings by vaccination status, enough pretending restrictions are freedom, enough shutting down normal life, it’s been enough.
“If a plant cannot live according to its nature, it dies; and so a man.” – Henry David Thoreau
“One has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws.” – Martin Luther King Jr.
“Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty. The obedient must be slaves.” – Henry David Thoreau
“To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards of men.” – Abraham Lincoln
“If you want to change the world, start with yourself.” – Mahatma Gandhi
Saturday: Last Saturday I was working a on a science challenge. This Saturday friends came over and we had a BBQ and also planted the lawn grass seeds, it’s going to rain today, but the rest of the week I have to remember to water it. It’s always nice when those friends come over.
Sunday: Last Sunday I did more work on the rock wall. This week it would be good to split the bamboo, I also should find a shady spot for the mushroom logs. The Irish Moss is here, I want to top the wall with that, the Chamomile is here perhaps put that with the Narcissis bulbs (didn’t). Got to water the patio garden better too, but there is also a rodeo, so who knows how much work I will get done?
So we did go to the rodeo (my first) and it was cool. Before we left I cut back more weeds near the lawn and fertilized it. I walked out to my fallen down greenhouse, knocked down by the storm and picked it up, I hope to rebuild with bamboo…
I’m feeling more optimistic about being able to take on the landscaping and my own goals as well, but also kind of fragile like I don’t want to expose myself to negative people at all, I just want to nurture my small victories like a spark in tinder, not even kindling.
Monday: Last week found out the grass green needs to be cut to .12 inches or 2 pennies high… wait for 2″, cut it down and fertilize it with nitrogen. This week it’s almost all cut down and it’s reseeded, today is day 3 for the new seeds. Been painting a wolf>griffin paint by number for an upcoming birthday.
A bit of a tough day, but productive, my daughter finished her Social Studies for 1st grade, so just English left of first grade. My son did math after my daughter finished and I only did a bit of watering the morning glories, narcissus, the lawn, the wheat, and then a little bit of leveling the front garden, placing weed cloth, placing soil, taking out the trash, finding 1/2 tubing to go in before the waterfall foam does (since it is easier that way). Worked on the wall, leveling, adding soil to gaps, moving rocks. Noticed there isn’t electricity that close, except the gate, hopefully can piggyback that way later. My daughter has been sick, but we had an extra test so she isn’t COVID sick, which is good because I would have to call off our martial arts class if she was.
Tuesday: Two weeks ago I decided to build a front fountain, last week I moved the pot in place, yesterday I ran the plumbing. Still to do get rocks, laying the weed cloth, staple weed cloth. So today I should probably finish splitting the bamboo, but before today the wall needed work, so hopefully today. I didn’t work in the front today, I did “extra-extra” laundry, and worked in the back making a place for the driving practice net and expanding the green, and cleaning the patio which my son threw manure compost all over…
I have watermelon and sunflowers seeds for the “front” front garden between the hedges waiting, I also need to dig some beer traps into place for slugs I can also try cedar repellant spray.
We scheduled a trip to the dino exhibit, my sister will have to take my kids since I didn’t get vaccinated as of yet/probably won’t, I have to remember I owe my friend $31 for the tickets… the rodeo being this Sunday, picking up my dad at the airport next Saturday, the dino thing, it’s all a bit overwhelming on top of my front garden, back garden, home school, and Wednesday group, but I guess everything is okay. I also want to decorate for the spring, but I don’t know if I’ll meet my goal of doing it by the first. Also want to make a photo book for my son and I totally haven’t started.
Wednesday: Last week the beach day was wonderful, we did a science/math/martial arts meet-up. Learning the hebrew alphabet got three more letters: אבג-דהו-זחט-יכל. On Wednesday we have a scout group, this week we filed for incorporation as an educational charity.
Thursday: Last week I installed the golf cups and we covered Lincoln in school. I worked on my son’s first photo book, filed for an EIN/charity status/incorporation of a non-profit, and made a website for our adventure scouts.
Friday: Last week I ordered two colors of plastic wood material. Today our scout group (The Adventure Scouts) was approved as an educational charity/non-profit corporation. I drove my sister for surgery, when I got back I didn’t know if I would do anything more, but then I did work on the lawn, water it, weed it more, split the bamboo, take some cuttings, move some cinder blocks as planters and plant all the bamboo, arranging it and washing the fallen leaves off the driveway. Things are not perfect but they are going well, I feel more inspired to be working on a community garden for the Adventure Scouts than I did just to work on “a garden”.
Other Goals: Photobook, whale painting, LED lights.
Garden Goals: Plant rhubarb, plant lavender.
Butterfly Garden: 1. Stone Pathway. 2. Trench Electrical. 3. Assemble Fountain 4. Adjusting
Putting Green: 1. Water Until Sprouted 2. Grow to 2″ 3. Trim Green/Curb 4. Weed/Groom
Sunflower Garden: 1. Level/Weed 2. lay weed cloth by hedges 3. Mulch a path next to that 4. Plant sunflowers and watermelon
Future: Fix the Pathways with Plastic Wood. Move Ferns. Place Green House.
Fix the small pond – Get more organized – Live life to the fullest.
This week a lot got done, but I also feel kind of lost about exactly what needs to get done first, especially in the garden. I need to splice some LED lights and finish the birthday stuff and photo book soon…