“There is magic in sincere forgiveness; in the forgiveness you give, but more so in the forgiveness you receive.“ – Terry Goodkind 🕊️

GOALS THIS WEEK: Finish most of or all of the 501 paperwork.

Last Week: Cleaning up after camping.

This Week: Still sick.

HEALTH OVERVIEW:

Mental Health: A bit thrown off by my dad leaving to go take care of his other house, super thrown off by my husband leaving to transfer to another state for work. I guess thrown off, trying to keep up with my responsibilities while being thrown off.

Physical Health: Still sick, but hoping to be better soon.

Social Health: Doing well, surprised to be doing well, but it helps me to know my friends that left seem happy where they are, so that makes me happy they are happy and seem to be settling in well.

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LIFE JOURNAL:

“Without forgiveness life is governed by an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation.”

– Roberto Assagioli

“There is no small act of kindness. Every compassionate act makes large the world.”

–Mary Anne Radmacher

Saturday: Last week I felt good about the camping trip even though we only did one hike instead of two and there was some problems, I felt good overall. This week there was our first massage retreat things and I got a facial, it was really nice. There were little kids to manage still, but overall it was enjoyable.

Sunday: Two weeks ago I was making the camping flyers. Last week I was cleaning up from camping, time really flies by. This week my dad is gone and I’m unexpectedly invigorated to garden again. I cut a lot of Mexican Sunflower cuttings from the back garden to fill out the front and side hedges. I got the front planted, but not the side. In some places I pulled out the panax hedges from last year, and in other places I left them, the mulch I made last year worked well, I just didn’t have enough for all the pathways yet, but it was interesting comparing the gravel vs wood mulch, the wood worked well. It is a little weird covering the wall I like a lot with the sunflower hedge, but it will be nice to have more privacy in the front and especially the side someday.

I did more of the front L and 30 paces of the back so a lot of our North East side has sunflowers now, maybe half. I am putting them in thicker than the original Panax so more can fail and the first year they grow in they will be really thick instead of the second year, not sure when that will be yet.

Monday: Last week transitioning back to school and away from summer school. This week excited for new blocks and happy both kids are doing well in math. The kids are doing well in science and reading too, if we lag it’s on manual writing, but I think we will catch up with that.

School Notes: 👦 🧮💻L2 Addition with zero and communicative property of addition. 🔬 RL Life Science. 👧 🧮💻L3 Large digit subtraction. 🔬💻 Physical vs Chemical Changes.

Tuesday: Last week my husband felt very uncertain and I felt bad for him, but I wasn’t uncertain, I know what I should be doing, caring for my kids and enjoying my friends while I can this summer, what comes next I don’t know yet but I guess I am grounded for now at least. Still sick, but don’t feel horrible, trying to get better, but a cough keeps me awake so I should remember to take something to sleep deeper, like mucinex or dramamine.

Wednesday: Last week I did go to the beach and did Tai Chi there for the first time. This week we had blocks it was fun, we got some new blocks and that was fun, it was nice to see my friends, I feel sad to be leaving in the fall because I wish I would be in the same place to get more of the scout stuff in order this first year.

Thursday: Last week I was really sick, just doing the minimum, this week a lot better, but still hacking up phlem and not all the way better. My daughter changed her Google Profile cartoon from a little little kid to a kid and it really struck me how old her mind is now. She is still juvenille and impatient, but much differently than before, I see why her SPD isn’t a learning disability, even though it makes her life more difficult at times, and makes her different than others, her learning is quite fast, she can lack in empathy, she can lack in tolerance, but her mind is agile at picking up new concepts and words, remembering old formulas and concepts and integrating both. Her mathematical calculations are so fast now, she is only a year ahead, but it’s a solid foundation that I doubt will need repair or review. Though her writing is frustrating and slow, so I imagine I will have to find a way to make that more fun for her.

Friday: Last week went apologizing for an incident that happened camping. This week trying to help another homeschool parent get started with the year. Had macaroons, covered some begining algebra with fractions.

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I wanted to finish the 501 paperwork, but I didn’t, I guess it’s okay, I ran into a good website that has some helpful resources, so for example I can run the first board meeting prior to doing the 501, which is how I think it should be done anyways.

Something new this week: My husband is moving his stuff out of the garage/house to move at the middle of next month, it feels stressful, but not neccisarily wrong, it’s probably good for him to get our first house somewhere with a lower cost of living.

Something good this week: I did a lot of sunflower cuttings, they look good so far.

Something unexpected: I had a good time tutoring math, I guess that is normal for me, but I think my student was happy too, which makes me happy.

🏝️

“Passion rules reason, for better or for worse.“ – Terry Goodkind 🕊️

GOALS THIS WEEK: Get better from being sick, then clean up.

Last Week: Went camping.

This Week: Surprised that we unloaded, dried the stuff, washed it and have it put away so fast, not completely but mostly.

HEALTH OVERVIEW:

Mental Health: I was lucky it was camping week I feel much better now.

Physical Health: Totally sick.

Social Health: Doing okay, having fun with my friends still.

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LIFE JOURNAL:

“Without forgiveness life is governed by an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation.”

– Roberto Assagioli

“There is no small act of kindness. Every compassionate act makes large the world.”

–Mary Anne Radmacher

Saturday: Last week I was so regretful to be a parent. But this week after camping I feel great, being around friends and kids, having such a good time making them light sabers, and doing foam archery it was really fun and I think most of the kids had a great time. It was nice to see the girls practicing archery, the boys too, but something about seeing four little girls doing archery made me feel like it’s all worth it in our scout group because they are not just selling cookies. Two of the boys caught chameleons and I went tree climbing with one boy. I had a good time and I think the kids had a good time.

Sunday: Last week I was making the camping flyers. This week camping was done, I had dropped off the last camper and the last stuff got unloaded pretty fast, then I hit some sun to be able dry hurricane Derby off our camping stuff, which was nice. I am still sick, my husband helped with the kids a lot racing rc monster trucks, this week feels idyllic compared to last week. Some moms had a mom fight after camping, which was unfortunate, but I think that overall the kids had fun and that makes me happy.

Monday: Last week a normal school day and I ran math assessments on the kids. Hopefully back to music and school today. After coming back from camping I was really touched by watching the kids have fun with the light saber crafts, I didn’t expect the art aspect to be such a big hit, because the kids got to choose their value, choose their color and choose their decoration, that put them in a very receptive mood to enjoy playing I think, I’m not sure. Some of the kids didn’t want to participate, but most enjoyed it. We also had a problem, so I’m trying to appreciate the good and troubleshoot the bad.

Tuesday: Last week my husband felt very uncertain and I felt bad for him, but I wasn’t uncertain, I know what I should be doing, caring for my kids and enjoying my friends while I can this summer, what comes next I don’t know yet but I guess I am grounded for now at least. Still sick, but don’t feel horrible, trying to get better, but a cough keeps me awake so I should remember to take something to sleep deeper, like mucinex or dramamine.

Wednesday: Last week there was a hurricane I was tired out from being sick, it was the first time we didn’t go to the beach. This week I did go to the beach, I had a good time, set up two pop ups instead of one, hosted the microscope and water and oil as my friends ran the donations/give aways that there have been a lot of lately.

Thursday: Last week we went camping, the kids seemed to love the light sabers, it was an extra element of freedom and as far as I know no one got hurt so that was good. This week I have been really sick, so I kind of cleaned up, then I stopped and rested, then I went to the beach then I stopped and rested, eating a lot of pathetic processed food meals and getting by doing laundry with a dirtier and dirtier house.

Friday: Last week went week camping. This week still apologizing for an incident that happened camping, but also moving on in a way with the program itineraries for 20 programs, with updating the website, with working on the summer math program, with starting the new oath, and adding new rules to the scout program, with starting a mom rejuvenation day once a month, with adding a communication retraining three part series. We went to a new museum and did math with two different families including the circumference of a circle and determining the value of pi by hand with a ruler, string and long division. Had some curry, I liked it and watermelon, I liked it and it was on sale.

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Camping was both better and worse than I expected, better in how the kids enjoyed it and getting the things done we said we would, worse in the level of respectful communication the adults achieved, so this week a lot of clean up was being done for the past week.

Something new this week: New museum for us, small, but cool, part aquarium, eco, art, and robotics.

Something good this week: I survived a busy period of life and even though I am sick, I am starting to feel more hopeful and confident.

Something unexpected: I had the best watermelon I have ever had that the farmer gave to my sister, it was really pink and crispy and delicious.

🍉

“Kindness and good intentions can be an insidious path to destruction. Sometimes doing what seems right is wrong, and can cause harm.” – Terry Goodkind 🕊️

GOALS THIS WEEK: Make fire boards, collect ash, get through the beach day and PH strip demo, survive and or enjoy camping.

Last Week: My allergies were irritating.

This Week: My allergies are mild.

HEALTH OVERVIEW:

Mental Health: I’m going to be suffering mentally for a while, as long as I keep doing other things, eventually I run into some activity or some moment that heals my mind, it has never seemed to help to talk about it as much as it does just to go off into nature or different places at least and just actually put the past in a different location.

Physical Health: The kids and I got sick over the weekend and just like last time the camping trip was already planned, so I guess we are resting up to try to be well.

Social Health: Looking forward to the camping trip, yet also not sure what people expect from me.

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LIFE JOURNAL:

“Without forgiveness life is governed by an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation.”

– Roberto Assagioli

“There is no small act of kindness. Every compassionate act makes large the world.”

–Mary Anne Radmacher

Saturday: Last week the house was under remodeling of a closet, this week that is done and it seems to make the whole house a bit less disorganized. This week my sister went through some kitchen cabinets. I couldn’t really get myself together to help much, I was feeling sick, my nose kept bleeding most of the day. We took the kids to the movies and it was a good movie, but I couldn’t enjoy it due to both taking them to the restroom over and over and also because I’m still really sorry, dissatisfied, and regretful to be a parent and a member of my family lately, it’s a feeling I’ve had in small amounts for a long time and it’s really intensified this past week. I haven’t handled my daughter’s special needs the best over time, and I don’t even want to have to, I know other special needs parents advocate embracing it, but I haven’t found a way to want to have such a heavy burden, I’ve carried it, I’ve had some success and some failure, but I never wanted it, not honestly.

Sunday: Last week went sailing, which was awesome. This week I had my daughter do a math test, both the kids were sick. The power went out for about an hour, the air quality really drops when the filters are off.. that’s bad news, but it’s really nice when they are on, that’s good news. The kids, my husband and I watched Little House on the Praire for a bit, it was nice, it felt relaxed even though my daughter was pretty fussy most the day. I made a flyer on the computer and ID-ed a Bluegum Eucalyptus and did some plant ID info.

Monday: Last week we went to a parade, this week a normal school day. I finished the Botany Challenge worksheet, finished the links to the attribution for images and species names for a dozen plants in our camp area, and finished a hiking list. My daughter did three language lessons instead of one, we started that about a week ago and now she is used to it, she didn’t want to do Italian, because of how much English translation typing it has compared to Hebrew, Japanese and Chinese just have her click letters. The language practice has helped her pick up letter sounds and listen more closely to which sound is which, she has picked up some letters from Hebrew, Japanese, and words from Chinese as well. We did piano practice going back to learn proper fingers for the song, I took a break and just let her play with any fingers, but it’s slower that way just like typing, once she gets faster I guess she can adapt the finger position again. My son did his music singing and piano too. They both did math assessments, my son got 87% on Kindergarten math, which is fine, I haven’t tested his 1st grade math yet. My daughter did 93% in 8 minutes on the Kindergarten math test, she also got 93% on 2nd grade, but it took 43 minutes, she did lose focus a few times, but she definitely understands the math overall, which is good. This is the 2nd and 3rd time I’ve tested Acellus’s curriculum against Khan Academy and it’s within 2% of the same evaluation again. I’m happy with that. So things are not perfect, but I’m happy with the kid’s math, music, and school overall.

Tuesday: Last week my daughter finished second grade math, I was thinking about 9-9:30 math, then coding 9:30-10:30, chemistry 10:30 to 11. My son 9:30-10 on math or reading. Today my husband regrets transferring out of state, so he is stressed out, I gathered ash for fire boards that he is not done making. I’m sick with a sore throat, my kids don’t want to go to the beach for the first time, but I said I would bring PH paper so we should, I also have to go pick up my camping stuff at some point. I’m hoping that tomorrow I will be better than today, what do you take for a sore throat?

Wednesday: Last week we went to the movies before the beach. This week there was a hurricane and everyone was pretty tired so we didn’t go to the beach for the first time in a long time. I was tired out from being sick but still chainsawed logs into wedges to use as fire boards, that was fun. Then I baked the wood to sterilize it.

Thursday: Last week something really bad happened, I thought I would worry about it for a long time, but a week later it’s somehow a lot less important, not right, but less important. We went camping, the kids seemed to love the light sabers.

Friday: Last week went to a friend’s had a good time with math but was sad about my own personal failings. This week camping, had a sore throat after the hike and a headache so I went home after sleeping in the tent the first night with the kids, I felt bad to leave my friends but I was getting pretty sick, so I stayed the day, went home to take a bath and sleep to come back the next morning.

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My husband is leaving in a month, but I will have a few more months of summer until returning to California.

Something new this week: Did the light saber pool noodle craft finally and it was pretty epic.

Something good this week: I felt a lot better about what happened, or actually not better at all but it just didn’t affect me anymore it passed tormenting me, I’m not happy about it, but no longer emotional about it.

Something unexpected: I had fun doing the foam archery with the kids.

🏹

“People are stupid; given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything. Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie because they want to believe it’s true, or because they are afraid it might be true.” – Terry Goodkind 🕊️

Last Week: My allergies were horrible.

This Week: My allergies are there, but survivable.

HEALTH OVERVIEW:

Mental Health: There is an alarm in my head at all times reminding me I am moving soon, so it makes it hard to relax.

Physical Health: I don’t even know if I want to exercise or not so close to moving, if I form a good habit, I’ll have to reform it again.

Social Health: So-so, I have good friends, but I also feel a bit over socialized and I would love some solitude, especially at home. I still don’t get along well with my family, I guess I always wish I did, but I don’t. I hate how they don’t talk clearly and are needy, I hate a lot of little things about living with them.

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LIFE JOURNAL:

“Without forgiveness life is governed by an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation.”

– Roberto Assagioli

“There is no small act of kindness. Every compassionate act makes large the world.”

–Mary Anne Radmacher

Saturday: Last week the house was dirty and I was having allergies and asthma flare ups, this week it’s a lot cleaner thanks to my sister cleaning my dad’s room, him rebuilding his closet to hold his clothes and me helping clean the clothes and house in general. The house is a lot cleaner, but I don’t really like being with my family. When my sister told my dad she was cleaning he said he didn’t want to do anything, I don’t know what is wrong with him that he needs someone to clean all his mess for him without him doing anything. I don’t know if he needs depression medicine or some help or exactly what, but what I do know is that being a roommate with someone like that is pretty unpleasant for me personally.

Sunday: Last week cleaned my house a bit, helped a friend clean and bait for cockroaches. This week I went sailing, which was awesome, I hadn’t seen the bay from the water before. It was really cool, but I also feel a bittersweetness that I know I’m leaving soon and I will miss my friends. Three days into the month was the day I hit my budget from sailing snacks, $10 pink shoes, and candy+ the day before, if I mentally say it’s groceries I have plenty of budget left, but it wasn’t really normal groceries…

Monday: Last week went on a budget, this week already spent my budget, but didn’t really go over it, so that’s okay. We went to a parade and took the kids to play fair games, they bought masks from the swapmeet at the festival and had fun bouncing in a bouncer. It was nice to see my daughter and son having fun. I wrote a subscriber article for our scout group’s Patreon subscribers, I think it was pretty cool, but, I guess I am biased.

Tuesday: Last week my daughter hit some math anxiety knowing she was close to the end of 2nd-grade math. This week for ice cream and two prizes she changed her attitude, finished math with a 94% and wants to write a song about how much she loves math… maybe I’ll start her from 9-9:30 on math, then coding from 9:30-10:30 and chemistry 10:30 to 11. My son 9:30-10 on Preschool 2. Updated my desktop schedule so that’s good…

Wednesday: Last week we did a DNA extraction at the beach and had a ton of fun skateboarding at the skate park before going to the beach. This week we went to the movies before the beach, but were late, it was a bit off, but still fun that kids made glowing slime and there were two rabbits and a guinea pig the little kids had fun with as well as a low price toy sale for kids to practice shopping.

Thursday: Last week the air filters came, I was literally lying awake in bed smelling the fresh air. This week I’m resting, my daughter started manipulating thousands in math, and also wondering how much she has saved and also is catching up a lot better in STEM Coding after a break. My son had a little math break after learning hundreds. Going back over the first part of STEM Coding 1 my daughter got much faster debugging, her reading and logic skills have improved over the time she took a short break from coding to go back over it, that is interval studying. Something really bad happened, I’m not going to discus it publicly, but it sours everything good in the world sometimes when something really bad happens, even if you don’t want it to.

Friday: Last week went to a friend’s house covered grouping with a younger one and algebra with an older one. I was kind of sleepy the whole time since I ran out of coffee, we made a really yummy curry. I had a nice time. I really didn’t want to be a parent anymore, I really didn’t want any more failure and challenge, I really wanted a peaceful break, I didn’t want to keep struggling, I didn’t want to face reality, but I didn’t have a way not to, I’m not a distractable person.

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Waiting for my husband’s company to let him know where he is going to transfer next, we are going to start over somewhere.

Something new this week: More unhappy to be a parent than ever before, really unable to enjoy the level of feeling like a failure.

Something good this week: I did the first kindergarten math lesson with a student I hadn’t worked with yet, it was interesting watching their mental process was quite different than the other students.

Something unexpected: I enjoyed curry with paprika and we got a cool dino lego set, I didn’t expect to get more anytime soon.

💔

A Month of Emotions

Looking at this month in review I can see a few turn arounds, my husband figured out that we are leaving the state in September, which is a bit sad, but feels better than not knowing. Also we talked about a budget so now I have something to shoot for, $85 for educational extras. I will try.

The first week I picked up my husband at the far airport. I felt drained, hopeful, content (sentimental), satisfied (impressed), inspired, happy, and motivated. Started the month lost and melancholy, my husband and I did a lot of talking throughout the month, not at any one time so much, and we decided we should leave the state, since he isn’t saving and he isn’t happy. My kids still did well in school overall, kind of at a slower pace since it is summer. We did a vegetarian fishing event that was super cool, to me at least. I saw a really pretty sunset, we did computer coding with some of the other scouts, which was a bit scary at first.

The second week was a cave trip, I was scared to forget something, that maybe someone would get hurt or lost, or that the kids would be bored, all those things did happen probably, but overall it was still great. I felt inspired from the beautiful sparkles of gold, silver, and rose on the roof of the cave and the patch of jungle where the sun entered the cave after hundreds of feet of darkness. My daughter’s chameleon she had for about a year died and for some reason it was a painful loss, it made me feel like life was pretty frail and cheap and temporary, I was pretty disheartened that time was erasing good things from life seemingly faster then they were coming into our lives, I felt downhearted, but that isn’t a term on the mood meter’s list. I felt relieved when we paid my husband’s speeding ticket but that isn’t on the mood meter list so I’ll call it at ease even though I feel more like a fake adult than a real adult when I’m taking care of those kind of adult chores. I was uneasy with the disorder of my own things knowing I’m facing a move it doesn’t make me feel good that my own things are out of order and I’ve been working on it, but progress feels like it crawls forward a centimeter at a time, I was at the same time satisfied with the amount my kids are learning and growing, it’s nice to see them confident in their reading and math in a way they can use it with their life skills, so in a way, I’m satisfied with them and dissatisfied with myself. Sometimes I feel hopeless and calm at the beach, like I enjoy that I am there and seeing the kids play, but I feel hopeless because I don’t have any control of where I live right now, I know some people do and I know I some times do, but I know right now it’s pretty far out of my hands, if I am sad or mad at myself for having that happen, either way it still is the as is situation and feeling like I will live where my husband lets me know we are going to be able to live, it’s a horrible feeling and I really hate it. So much that I wish sometimes I wasn’t married, sometimes I would rather be forced by economic limits to live in certain places, rather then being at the whim of another person who has different priorities and preferences and for sure will be deciding based on their priorities and preferences, where I live and where my children live during the most important times of their lives. It feels hopeless to be helpless, but I still try to appreciate the good things so there is a fair layer of optimism on top of a thick layer of depression. I felt really happy helping a friend clean their house, I just wished I felt that happy cleaning my own house. I felt grateful to read about the first Chemical Element with a friend’s child, grateful to know, grateful to share, grateful to be there for that moment of begining.

The third week I felt nostalgic for the past and troubled about the present, watching the kids play at a play ground it felt like life used to be a lot easier, I don’t know if it really was. I felt satisfied with myself for finishing a project with a friend I said I would help finish, it felt really good to be reliable. I was getting angry that my home was so dirty while helping other people clean their homes, not that I never cleaned my own home, but one out of four adults cleaning and three adults not cleaning doesn’t really make it sustainable to succeed at having a nice home to live in over time. It just doesn’t, not for us. I was still angry, but even more tense because the house was getting toxic for my allergies, the kids were on my nerves to the extreme extent that they get on my nerves, with my son being needy and my daughter hyper I hate it even more than two clinging kids or two hyper kids, it feels like the worst of all kids existing with me every second and I HATE IT. Bad kids and a messy house together, make life almost intolerable. The next day I was crying and hopeless, I felt betrayed and belittled and mistreated and I wanted to leave and never come back, but I knew that I couldn’t yet, that it would be a slow process and there was no “escape”, I felt all the pain of everything I hated from the family I grew up with together with the pain of everything I hate from my own family and it was too much for me to bear without breaking, so I broke down. I was getting panicked because my asthma was really flaring up badly and I knew that if I left the house too dirty I probably wouldn’t be coming back and some painful conversations would follow as well as stress from moving in a rush. I was motivated to clean, to see if I could even make a difference, I got a lot done, I ended the week hopeful that somehow things would work out.

The fourth week, I felt disgusted that my family feels okay with so much filth and if confronted just complains about the next person’s failing without owning or fixing the first issue raised, the next day I felt inspired my friend was keeping on organizing her house that we worked on together, it wasn’t perfect, but she was still trying, it was inspiring. The next day I was frustrated because we had students over trying the robot coding class and it was glitchy and I didn’t know how to fix it, it really bothered me that they couldn’t see their work run as the other kids had gotten to do. The next day I was motivated to teach school and do chemistry, life isn’t perfect, but my kids are learning a lot and that is cool to me. I felt exhilarated skating at an awesome skatepark for the first time in my life. The next day we set up the air filters and I could breathe I was grateful for that, I am resentful that I have to be grateful just to breathe, but at the same time I am really grateful too, so there is my imperfect and complex personality bitter and cheerful both. I was really happy to be out of the house teaching math and having fun with friends on Friday, it inspired me to see kids using the white board, it motivated me that they were so into the chemical elements, I felt grateful and blessed and satisfied, it was definitely a great day for me.

Today is July 4th, I didn’t know last month that this month I would be getting ready to move away, but I did suspect that I may be. It feels good to know one way or the other, not knowing was killing me slowly.

Meta Emotion: Looking back at the fifth month I was so angry about living in a dirty house and it’s good we are leaving even if it is bitter-sweet.

There is a sense of a lot of work and sadness ahead, but also a little bit of adventure at seeing what lies outside of right here and hope to make a better life soon or at least semi-soon.

Physical Health: No agenda, things are so unsettled, I’m not expecting myself to do any new routines yet.

Social Health: Love my friends, grateful they make life easier.

Mental Health: Living with my family, it hasn’t been helpful overall, sure aspects were helpful, but other aspects were so not helpful the net effect was worse, I can see that looking back on long periods and I hope this is the last time we live together so I don’t have to A Live my life and B Explain and justify and coordinate what is going on…

Something New: Our Adventure Scouts did our first cave event, I can’t always do big events, but I am happy to have some cool ones under our belt.

What helped: Having little moments of joy when I could like at the skatepark for the first time.

🛹

“There is magic in sincere forgiveness; in the forgiveness you give, but more so in the forgiveness you receive.“ – Terry Goodkind 🕊️

Last Week: Was doing better physically, but unhappy at home emotionally, then I had an allergy flare up and it went away, and then came back again. It makes exercising seem secondary to getting well.

This Week: Started with the kids enjoying the ocean and helping a friend.

HEALTH OVERVIEW:

Mental Health: Mixed, again hate my dad’s dog, but like my friends. Kind of have a decision from my husband. So somewhat less stressed.

Physical Health: I want to exercise more, I think tomorrow will be the day. Then I got sick again from probably mold on the old items my dad doesn’t feel like sorting from his room… he started sorting his clothes that don’t fit and hopefully keeps going.

Social Health: Going well. Near the point of moving again, my husband will probably go first and then me after the summer is over.

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LIFE JOURNAL:

“Without forgiveness life is governed by an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation.”

– Roberto Assagioli

“There is no small act of kindness. Every compassionate act makes large the world.”

–Mary Anne Radmacher

Saturday: Last week we went on a road trip and watched the kids play. This week there were a ton of dog puddles and poop by the dining table right after I detailed the floor yesterday, so it makes me pretty angry, that it’s so often, that it’s so disgusting and that my dad who owns the dog doesn’t attempt to clean up after his dog. We took another road trip just to be gone.

Sunday: Last week noticing my kids are bigger and older, noticing how they have grown. This week cleaned my house a bit, helped a friend clean and bait for cockroaches. At night I texted her some encouragement and suggestions, but I didn’t know if I should just not say anything at all. (Two days later they said thank you.)

Monday: Last week resentful about the difference of housekeeping preferences. This week had friends over to do Coding Class, this week we got through the first two coding camp songs, as well as the multiplication song, 5 minutes of Japanese vocab, the first letter of the Japanese alphabet. My husband asked us to go on a budget, he said $150 a month for school, so $50 for Power Home School, $15 for music, leaves $85, I’m going to do my best with that.

Tuesday: Last week my son finished 1st-grade math. Seven weeks ago I wrote some school notes: that I wanted to focus on enthusiasm, breaking skills down, patience, more enthusiasm, and changing the system as needed to fit the student and encourage the kids to study smarter so you can learn more and contribute to your own well-being and that of others. This week I am trying to switch to 9-10 AM school with my son and perhaps 9-10 11-12 with my daughter… I’m cutting down on videos so I’m getting a lot of winning, which I hate, but it doesn’t mean I will be pushed around by my kids. My daughter has been doing well in math, but is just yelling all the time instead of talking for the past few days (later in the week she stopped, yay).

Wednesday: Last week I broke down and the car broke down. This week we are both started up again. We did beginners and advanced martial arts. We did a DNA extraction at the beach one human, one banana, with soap, salt water, and cold rubbing alcohol. The little kids had fun with new pop up tents, there was a lot of food and a little boat the kids had a lot of fun with. I had a ton of fun skateboarding at the skate park before going to the beach.

Thursday: Last week the house was really gross, this week the air filters came, the first night I was literally lying awake in bed smelling the fresh air and really happy my bedroom air filter works so well, that one is an Ayafto HY1800 ($50), the air smells so good, like a cold morning outside. I didn’t know my room smelled bad, but I guess a lot of pet dander was there because I sleep with the door shut and my eyes kept swelling up at night… In the living room the air filter makes a big difference, like when someone cooks you only smell half as much odor and it doesn’t smell as stale, but it’s a bigger room, so to be honest the air doesn’t smell all the way clean like my bedroom. We have a third air filter that has a reading of what mold or pet dander levels were in the air, I’m excited to see what it says. We visited our friends at the campground near us, that was really fun, it was great getting out of the house which still makes me itchy, even though it’s getting better. We moved an air filter into my dad’s room, I hope that helps the rest of the house have fewer allergens because they mostly come from there, it’s cool he was okay with it. Spent a long time sparking a flint rock to try to get good at it.

Friday: Last week I was at home, so I cleaned our living room, I think we all liked the difference in the room this time, a lot of time no one cares or notices. This week going out again, going to cover some algebra. I loved all the kids doing math and science, we just cover simple things with the younger ones, counting what they can, multiplying, then order of operations, plotting, and algebra with the older ones. Everyone was pretty interested in the elements of the periodic table, we just covered Hydrogen and Helium, but there was a lot of interest from age 2-11. We covered the first two math decathalon topics, Fibonacci addition and multiplying by 5s.

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The week I’m mentally preparing for my husband to move, I think it will be good because he wasn’t happy. I don’t know what to expect from the future.

Something new this week: Went to the skate park for the first time (onto the ramps), it was really fun.

Something good this week: We got three air filters installed in the house, it may not be enough, but at least it helps. I think it only helped 50% of my eye pain/face itching, but that is something, my lungs don’t hurt anymore, they start hurting from the inside out when the house is too dirty.

🧺