“There is magic in sincere forgiveness; in the forgiveness you give, but more so in the forgiveness you receive.“ – Terry Goodkind 🕊️

GOALS THIS WEEK: Trying to get through kid birthday and camping.

Last Week: Been pushing hard in the garden.

This Week: The front watermelon bed has been going well.

HEALTH OVERVIEW:

Mental Health: Gathering strength to exercise and do paperwork and take care of my plants.

Physical Health: Doing much better, but still burning off a stomach flu with fevers here and there.

Social Health: Almost forgot about the math decathlon.

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LIFE JOURNAL:

“Without forgiveness life is governed by an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation.”

– Roberto Assagioli

“There is no small act of kindness. Every compassionate act makes large the world.”

–Mary Anne Radmacher

Saturday: Last week bought soil to replant my son’s apple tree and then also some linoleum. The apple tree got replanted this week. My husband came to visit the kids late Friday night and the kids are really happy to play with him. It wasn’t bad having time apart and it also is nice to have time together again and help with the cars. It’s nice for my husband to notice how much the kids change and grow, I think being apart helps make it easier for my husband to see that, though I see it too. Went to a cool break dance event and it was really inclusive and fun and I was surprised how awesome it was to be there with friends and talk and play and enjoy the creative arts, which I always push aside but that always revives my soul.

Sunday: Last week my daughter got in trouble for breaking the rules of what she is allowed to do on tablets. This week I had a great time in the garden, I put down the path around where I wanted a veggie bed all year. I put weed cloth and mulch and then filled the bed with chicken manure compost, steer manure compost, Norwegian Kelp and vermiculite.

Forest to Farm

Monday: Last week, I was pretty ill. This week we did a hike to see the lava in person for the first time, I was happy my son was happy. Amazing how much better I felt this week vs last week, I have my full strength and engergy back and I’m open to new things and new ideas, when I was sick I felt very careful not to start anything new that I probably couldn’t finish. My husband said I could have a $300/month budget to work on the garden and I really hope he doesn’t regret that or redact that later, because I’m excited to develop a plant start program, that’s where I feel like I fit into the community well.

Tuesday: Last week catching up on my journal and cleaning. This week, got a domain name for our scout group, adventurescoutshawaii.org, it was a long time in coming, but good we did that, we should also get a bank as well. Baked blueberry cake, chocolate cake and more chocolate cake for my daughter’s birthday party. Getting through the mochi and cake felt like it took all afternoon after laying hay mulch in the morning, and completing the pathway and moving the green house. This week was the first round of Amdro bait on Tuesday right before moving the green house, cutting down a tree and rebuilding the green house with the new wood. When I was moving the fallen down green house I remembered the rise stronger together banner down town and I felt a commitment to get back to where we were before the Kona Low and hurricane Darby.

Wednesday: Last week decided on a war with fire ants. This week my daughter turned 7, and I have to admit I like older kids better than little kids. I’m glad my daugther had a nice birthday with her friends, I was stressed about it, but then it was really fun and relaxing. So many people helped decorate or brought food or gifts, it was really awesome. I brought nasturtium flowers that I grew to repell squash vine tunnelers, it was pretty fun. We also had the coin microscope out for the kids, it felt pretty good between fun at the beach, friends and the microscope, though I do miss teaching karate class more often.

Thursday: Last week realized I didn’t have banana aphids, but rather flea beetles. Well I was getting ready for camping, a student of my student was finishing up Kindergarten math seven months early, he outpaced my own kids who had a head start of many years. That’s pretty cool, a lot of early learning focuses on 0-5, but this student was 5, so it’s cool to see for myself that 5 isn’t too late to start accelerated math or learn a new passion as compared to the 0-4 range. Actually, I’ve been learning cooking and dancing this year for the first time and I’m 37, so it’s really never too late, especially if you have a better method of learning. Like learning in a fun way, or learning from a master, or learning with friends, those hacks can help give you the advantage age may not give you.

Friday: Last week my daughter got a new bike, she had an old one, but getting a new one revived her interest. This week camping was fun, high interest in movie making, light saber personal values craft, the principal box craft, it was nice having help to load up after, it was nice not worrying about food, the after hike was nice, overall it was a good time for me and a good time for the kids, of course kind of draining, but I think years later the memories the kids have will be worth their weight in gold.

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Cherry Blossom – Waiting for cold germination. ⌛

Lavender – Cold stratified, germinated via heat mat single-side paper towel and light. The seedlings look fine. 👍🏼

Sunflower – Germinated in 3 days after 24 hour soak. Grown. Distributed. Growing well. 👍🏼

Morning Glory – Germinated in 1 day via cup of water to paper towels > grow bags > Distributed. Growing well. 🌱 They look good some are vining now. Some pest damage on the leaves, center holes medium size.

Roma Tomato – Germinated in 2 days via paper towel. Grown. Distributed. Some early blight! 👍🏼

Clover, Alfalfa – For the Hilo Garden A. 🔮

Blueberry – Germinated in a few weeks paper towel method, spouts are so tiny, but doing well.

Raspberry – Germinating…

Koa – Germinated first week and kept stagared germination.

Something new this week: Helping the kids learn story boarding to make movies camping was really interesting, because as story teller and an artist I never did comics, nor animation, nor story boarding, so I never connected the art of story and the art of art before in real life and I think it was awesome that kids about 5 years old were not only able to, but well suited to put together making story boards and then filming the shots. Children are so powerful in creative realms.

Something good this week: My family helped me with the camping trip, loading, delivering, picking up, that’s awesome.

Something unexpected: I have a lot of new friends this year, I didn’t set out to make new friends, but a lot of people lost friends during the pandemic and shifted around socially after, so here we are.

⛺

“Passion rules reason, for better or for worse.“ – Terry Goodkind 🕊️

GOALS THIS WEEK: Trying to clean the house after being sick.

Last Week: It’s hard to remember now, only a week later.

This Week: Little garden projects, hoping they go well.

HEALTH OVERVIEW:

Mental Health: Doing between alright and not alright, I guess it’s called stressed.

Physical Health: Had a stomach flu really bad Monday, but feeling better today.

Social Health: Two birthday parties in addition to my daughter’s, in addition to Halloween, in addition to camping, in addition to day two of the math decathlon, so I kind of wish people spread out their kids more geez.

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LIFE JOURNAL:

“Without forgiveness life is governed by an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation.”

– Roberto Assagioli

“There is no small act of kindness. Every compassionate act makes large the world.”

–Mary Anne Radmacher

Saturday: Last week we placed a watermelon bed. This week it felt like everything was delayed, pests took over the plants, from pickleworm, squash borer tunnelers, banana aphids, white flies, this is the first year slugs weren’t a main issue at least. A squash borer tunneler catapillar jumped out at me while I was holding a vine trying to figure out what was in there… that was kind of helpful and also starting. I can’t remember if it was Friday or Saturday that we went out to the garden, I feel like it was Friday actually, but then what did I do Saturday? I guess I bought soil to replant my son’s apple tree and then also some linoleum.

Sunday: Last week laid soil into a watermelon bed. This week covered a lot of English Language, some Earth Science, and some Astronomy. At night my daughter got in trouble for breaking the rules of what she is allowed to do on tablets, so that was unfortunate for me that she felt like breaking the rules, because I don’t really enjoy punishing her, but I really feel compelled to push her away from the edge.

Monday: Last week, I overspent on camping stuff. This week I threw up at least four times and was pretty ill, it was so nice my sister helped my with my kids who also had friends over, I really appreciate that she had the day off that was lucky for me. The kids were good, they did a lot of math actually and other school work like English without much help and without much candy, instead saving for game time. They also spent a lot of time singing Pumpkin Jack, by the Singing Walrus, together, which was really cute.

Tuesday: Last week went to the olympic pool. This week catching up on my journal and cleaning, this is becoming nostalgic already, I guess after 10 months things feel nostalgic. We cleaned the kids’ bedroom, my daughter decided to move back into my son’s room again, so they are sharing a room now, which is cool, going to get them a bunkbed someday. For a long time I felt like I didn’t know where home was, now I feel like it’s here in Hawaii, no matter where my husband moves later, I feel at home here now.

Wednesday: Last week we had a wonderful block day and made poi. This week I’m happy with the changes to the kids room, happy overall with school, feeling sick though. It was different not going to the beach, the day goes by and it’s not bad, but I do think it is usually worth the extra effort to see the kids friends on a normal week. Spent a lot of time over analysing the possible fire ant war cost and trying to decide on if I should poison them or leave them alone. It was kind of paranoid and isolated like Branch from Trolls…

Thursday: Last week we identified some bugs. This week I realize I didn’t have banana aphids, but rather flea beatles. So, resting up from the stomach flu and not much else except school. Hitting reading hard, math going well, this year my daughter got really good at telling time, decimals and started fractions, she got better at hand writing and a bit at typing, the only thing lagging is kind of essay composition. My son is doing great, but to advance in math he needs to write the problems out so he is learning manual writing and is good 0-3, so 4-6 is next. School is going well, music lessons are going well, I should be more happy about it, but I’ve been kind of demotivated temporarily since having the stomach flu.

Friday: Last week went to the pool, picked up mulch, and dropped it off, pretty productive day. This week productivity fell off due to the stomach flu, but both kids made it to 80% in English so that we will probably do a double year in English actually and still do some extra music and drawing stuff. I’m happy the kids are doing well, I had fun watching Sustainable Me tomato video today and it inspired me to go clean up my tomato plants a little, but then didn’t have time before my dad wanted to go to get my daughter a birthday gift. She ended up with a new bike, wish there were more places to ride around us, but at least she is interested again.

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How’s it Growing?

Cherry Blossom – Waiting for cold germination. ⌛

Lavender – Cold stratified, germinated via heat mat single-side paper towel and light. The seedlings look fine. 👍🏼

Sunflower – Germinated in 3 days after 24 hour soak. Grown. Distributed. Growing well. 👍🏼

Morning Glory – Germinated in 1 day via cup of water to paper towels > grow bags > Distributed. Growing well. 🌱 They look good some are vining now. Some pest damage on the leaves, center holes medium size.

Roma Tomato – Germinated in 2 days via paper towel. Grown. Distributed. Some early blight! 👍🏼

Clover, Alfalfa – For the Hilo Garden A. 🔮

Blueberry – Germinating…

Raspberry – Germinating… seem all gross, not sure if it’s just the way the seed capsule is.

Koa – Germinating via paper towel.

Something new this week: My daughter started riding bikes again after a small fall on a hill she had stopped for a few years.

Something good this week: When I watched Sustainable Me Tomato episode it brought me back in time to when I started gardening and I wanted to grow to eat, before I found out about all the slugs.

Something unexpected: I was surprised how much my attitude changed when I thought I had banana aphids caused by fire ants vs when I thought I had flea beetles, I stopped being mad at ants and was just more calm in general.

🏔️

This Month of Emotions

Week One: The first week apprehensive being in charge of new kids, trying not to break any rules or start any bad habits for them, I felt pleased to exercise, start a new garden and in general get stuff done after so long not getting stuff done, felt motivated to do our social studies and more music and civ games during school time, I felt satisfied when we decluttered the bathroom even though it took quite awhile, I felt inspired by the four kids who participated in the math decathalon, I felt exhilerated doing farm work it felt like I was good at something good, which is a great feeling at the end of the week I felt touched my friends threw me a surprise birthday party.

Week Two: I was optimistic to try grafting, that our camping trip felt so right overall, the next day I was upbeat decorating for fall, even though I was sick again, I was inspired giving away plants, drained the next day doing some garden work, I felt happy with myself for making it to the beach for martial arts, I was so motivated to work in my own garden cleaning the play house area. I ended the week satisfied because we did some music lesson together, so I was happy in a sense but also a little disappointed about how chaotic the world and the year was in a personal sense and a global sense both.

Week Three: The thired week started I still felt intoxicated with fall farming/gardening, I felt really inspired doing some mini-chain saw work, I felt optimistic and amused reseeding the grass lawn with bent grass, then I was festive planning my daughter’s birthday, the next day I was motivated thanks to more sleep since my youngest stopped night feeds, then I was excited because we found a place for pumpkin and watermelon beds, the next day I was happy to buy soil and pleased to put it in the next day.

Week Four: I felt inspired working with bamboo and jute twine, motivated the next day creating more staging area for my small plants, troubled the next day knowing some things that matter are being left undone, frustrated making the swing set since the kids lost one nut and I didn’t want to search around for it at the hardware stores, I was disappointed to have the math decathalon over shadowed by unwanted drama about sharing the beach space, then I was happy because I got to see a girl happy with some Double Knock Out Roses. I ended the week stressed doing paperwork, paperwork is not my favorite thing, even if I do it right or it seems right to do it, it’s really not my favorite thing at all.

Today is October 11th, I’m still a lot more tense and jittery than I used to be, I don’t know if that is something that is easy to fix with exercise or something that is going to be lingering, but I don’t think I used to be that way.

Meta Emotion: Looking back at the nineth month I was really happy gardening, even though I didn’t enjoy drama at the beach, which is usually my happy and peaceful place. I felt like my kids were being good and I was being good to them, something I don’t usually feel because my daughter is usually acting pretty badly for attention, by habit or for whatever her reasons are.

Physical Health: Some health and exercise.

Social Health: It’s easier living with just my sister, but also temporary, I don’t know what to do to destress about my dad, I don’t know exactly why he bothers me as much as he does, but I just find myself on edge and uneasy when he is standing over my shoulder.

Mental Health: I can see I’ve been overspending, but I don’t feel bad.

🪩

“Kindness and good intentions can be an insidious path to destruction. Sometimes doing what seems right is wrong, and can cause harm.” – Terry Goodkind 🕊️

GOALS THIS WEEK: Putting the second pumpkin patch and watermelon patches in hopefully.

Last Week: Wanted to destress and did in a surprising way by spending more time with friends.

This Week: Look for site for greenhouse, put down mulch.

HEALTH OVERVIEW:

Mental Health: Doing alright need to start more paperwork, but wondering when.

Physical Health: Doing pretty well, almost at full health, but fighting off a flu.

Social Health: My friends are supporting me right now, but as our group gets larger it becomes harder to deal with.

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LIFE JOURNAL:

“Without forgiveness life is governed by an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation.”

– Roberto Assagioli

“There is no small act of kindness. Every compassionate act makes large the world.”

–Mary Anne Radmacher

Saturday: Last week we did a lot of science learning collaboration, Life Science, Physical Science, and Human Body, Acellus Science. This week we built a planter, planted a coffee tree, painted part of a bunk bed, painted some pallets, placed a watermelon bed, and ordered soil, landscape fabric, and mulch. Having a great time watching pumpkins grow so far.

Sunday: Last week I taught more math and science, dancing, and language with Duolingo. This week did gardening, picked up a carful of soil and mulch and laid soil into a watermelon bed, laid weed cloth onto a pathway, and mulch on that. It feels good to be making progress towards some kind of complete project. I think each project leads to another project and the over spending never ends, I should be more responsible, it’s always been a power struggle between creativity and buying good supplies vs being responsible and saving, sometimes I go one way, sometimes the other, but it’s hard to find the perfect balance.

Monday: Last week, paperwork for a friend. This week planning to do my paperwork, brainstorming/think tank Saturday, and synthesis Sunday. It’s very close to the big dance battle and my dance hasn’t improved very much. I overspent on camping stuff, I don’t really have much of an excuse, but for once it doesn’t feel wrong it feels right. Covering a lot of English and Spanish right now, and learning some Korean on the side myself, I don’t know why I like foreign alphabets so much, but I do.

Tuesday: Last week a lot of paperwork and a lot of reading with the kids. This week went to the sail camp and the olympic pool, so much sun, but had to go to town anyways to do errands. I wish I had my large hat, it helps so much with the sun. The kids have gotten bit by fire ants lately, I did last night too, so now I have to look into cleaning up indoor fire ants…

Wednesday: Last week we had a lovely block day, this week was unexpectedly block day again, with even more blocks. Made poi with kalo from the garden, blueberry muffins, black beans, and broccoli to eat rather than buying sandwiches, but still spent money on gas and groceries anyways. Plus two more birthdays, just little gifts, but still. Friends are sick with the stomach flu, hoping it misses me.

Thursday: Last week we saw had a cool little picnic dinner at the beach with friends. This week we identified some bugs, possibly Banana Aphids, White Flies, as well as Mexican Cactus Flies. I sprayed the White Flies with soap, I actually find them pretty so for a long time I just let them grow on my avocado tree, but I didn’t know what they were. Had some friends over and was able to cook blueberry muffins and pizza for them, which is cool, it gets easier and easier making the dough for anything each time I make it. Did a bit of weeding and distributed the garden club hoses. Got the train project approved.

Friday: Last week had a good time talking to my friends and having ice cream together. This week helping take care of the spark plug wires the car has been needing for a long time. Plan to pick up mulch from Home Depot. Went to the pool, picked up mulch, and dropped it off, pretty productive day.

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How’s it Growing?

Cherry Blossom – Waiting for cold germination. ⌛

Lavender – Cold stratified, germinated via heat math then single side paper towel and light. Seedlings look fine. 👍🏼

Sunflower – Germinated in 3 days after 24 hour soak. Grown. Distributed. Growing well. 👍🏼

Morning Glory – Germinated in 1 day via cup of water to paper towels > grow bags > Distributed. Growing well. 🌱 They look good some are vining now. Some pest damage on the leaves, center holes medium size.

Roma Tomato – Germinated in 2 days via paper towel. Grown. Distributed. Looking good. Some early blight! 👍🏼

Clover, Alfalfa – For the Hilo Garden A. 🔮

Blueberry – Germinating…

Raspberry – Germinating… seem all gross, not sure if it’s just the way the seed capsule is.

Something new this week: New sleeping bags for camping make me look forward to going.

Something good this week: Pretty good stamina coming back, eating poi seemed to help I wonder if it really was that? But that was the timing.

Something unexpected: Happy but surprised I made poi this week from the Kalo from our garden.

🥦

“People are stupid; given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything. Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie because they want to believe it’s true, or because they are afraid it might be true.” – Terry Goodkind 🕊️

GOALS THIS WEEK: Even though I have a lot I want to do I feel so stressed I want to destress somehow.

Last Week: Continuing to garden.

This Week: Look for site for greenhouse.

HEALTH OVERVIEW:

Mental Health: Too overwhelmed to be guilty or anxious. Camping is coming up, visitors, my daughter’s birthday, and Halloween, I need to do the minimum for awhile or I’ll go crazy.

Physical Health: Caught this same flu x3, sadness.

Social Health: Not looking forward to October, just seems so stressful a gateway to the holiday season that I detest.

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LIFE JOURNAL:

“Without forgiveness life is governed by an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation.”

– Roberto Assagioli

“There is no small act of kindness. Every compassionate act makes large the world.”

–Mary Anne Radmacher

Saturday: Last week put up a gate and did some community cleaning, it was a really nice day. This week we did a lot of science learning collaboration, Life Science, Physical Science, and Human Body, Acellus Science, and some math, stuff we normally do on Friday, but on Saturday, that felt kind of weird, but at least sciencey so that’s nice in a way.

Sunday: Last week I was teaching the second set of 5 letters of Japanese and some math, it was nice. This week I taught more math and science and did some dancing with the kids, it was pretty fun. Started some new Duolingo users, which is awesome. I’m getting behind in cleaning, which makes me feel a little uncomfortable, but at least I have Kyara’s birthday and Halloween figured out.

Monday: Last week trying to get my house in order, mentally, and actually his week a lot of reading and some paperwork for a friend. Paperwork kind of makes me anxious, not about the paperwork I’m doing, but about what I am not doing and “should” be doing. I really want to get some paperwork done, yet at the same time, it’s not easy to set aside enough time to make it feel significant.

Tuesday: Last week the school schedule, I made two weeks ago was not working, which I’m okay with. This week a lot of paperwork and a lot of reading with the kids. kind of thinking about life. Getting in the Halloween mood, and noticing my son is so big and such an independent person already. I want to do music and dance and exercise every day, but I don’t know if I ever will or if I will end up moving each thing to once a week, it’s really draining doing music and exercise, dance is a bit easier, but all three things are draining.

Wednesday: Last week we had the math decathlon and I’m proud of the kids, very proud. This week was block day, I found it lovely and wonderful, the sun felt warm rather than burning, the surface of the water was beautiful, it was one of those days kind of like falling in love, but no new love interests in my life, just such a beautiful day each section was romantic in its splendor. I was able to talk to some friends in a meaningful way despite us all chasing our kids and I felt really blessed in that because often it feels like I brush aside my well-being for my kids, and that’s fine sometimes, but it felt magical for them to have fun and me to have fun, it felt like a miracle. We jarred some bugs in the garden this week, it was okay, definitely not all the bugs, but some of them.

Thursday: Last week Crook Neck Squash and Nasturtiums went into the garden, this week they are small, but looking good. We saw what looked like Spotted Eagle Rays at the beach, it was pretty cool, had a cool little picnic dinner at the beach with friends. Not the most chill day for me, but happy my kids were happy, to a point. My daughter jumped from the local high spot and it was cool to see her so brave as she normally is. Learned some Korean at night I used to know the alphabet and it’s coming back really quickly, I remember the coworker who taught it to me and when he bought me a burger, it was cool, just one small nice gesture with no pressure, there isn’t enough kindness like that with no strings attached in this world.

Friday: Last week there was stressful paperwork looming over my mind, this week there is still more paperwork, but I’m not going to worry about it. Instead I’m stressed about my dad coming back, cleaning up, my husband visiting, my daughter’s birthday, the camping trip, but I don’t want to stress about the camping trip so I think I won’t. I put three slugs into the slug jar today, leapord slugs, which are super gross to me, beyond being gross they have paracites in my area. Sprouted some crook neck squash they smell good, really good as sprouts. My cherry seeds are struggling to sprout. Lavender is doing good though. Going to try some cococoir for the cherry seeds soon. Saw my friends, cooked some curry and watched a fried rice demo. Helped set up Duo Lingo for Japanese. Moved some roses from the Southside to the Northside of a garden. Had a really good time with my friends. There was three of us adults and it felt like we could really talk in that amount compared to the large group on Wednesday.

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How’s it Growing?

Cherry Blossom – Cold stratified, paper towel. Getting moldy, switched back to the fridge, thinking of scarafying and moving to coco coir. ⌛

Lavender – Cold stratified, Germinated in weeks via paper towel with heat and light. They are sprouting bit by bit, seedlings look fine. 👍🏼

Sunflower – Germinated in 3 days after 24 hour soak. Grown. Distributed. Growing well. 👍🏼

Morning Glory – Germinated in 1 day via cup of water, moved to paper towels > grow bags. Grown. Distributed. Growing well. 🌱 They look good some are vining now.

Roma Tomato – Germinated in 2 days via papertowel. Grown. Distributed. Looking good. 👍🏼

Clover, Alfalfa – For the Hilo Garden A. 🔮

Blueberry – Germinating…

Raspberry – Germinating… seem all gross, not sure if it’s just the way the seed capsule is.

Something new this week: Played tick tack toe in Korean.

Something good this week: Friday having the three of us together felt cool.

Something unexpected: Thursday saw spotted eagle manta rays.

🌊