“Passion rules reason, for better or for worse.“ – Terry Goodkind 🕊️
GOALS THIS WEEK: Declutter the house.
Last Week: Was a bit lively but slowly wearing down with a sore throat cycling through the family.
This Week: The storm knocked down my green house again, I forget about these extreme winds.
Mental Health: Tired.
Physical Health: Sick.
Social Health: Tentative.
Creatively Use and Respond to Change
“Without forgiveness life is governed by an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation.”– Roberto Assagioli
“There is no small act of kindness. Every compassionate act makes large the world.”
–Mary Anne Radmacher
Saturday: Last week my dad came back the kids always get off routine when anyone comes or goes so it’s a bit tough getting them settled back into their chores ext. We were able to return the lost dog pretty fast the next morning after we found it.
Reflection – Designer: Put the desk in the office, that was really cool, but not using the room much yet, still used to using the hall office more.
Sunday: Last week I found out we had a watermelon growing under our pumpkin, now pickle worms have burrowed into it. Next time I have to tie a bag around it, I hesitated to take action and now we lost the watermelon. I went to see a friend’s dance recital and tried to buy steer manure but it is so often out of stock. At least I got to drop off some peat moss and vermiculite for a new garden. I got some oregano as a present, I hope it does well I think it is very healthy as an anti-inflammatory. My kids were sick with scarlet fever and it was nice to be able to leave them at home with their aunt.
Reflection – Builder: Just a week later and I’ve changed my mind, we had our big winter wind storm due to the high elevation of our peak diving fast all the way into sea level we get extreme winds during the winter it seems like, the Kona Low Winds… so pretty big tarps get picked up and snapped, huge trees get knocked over, most of my garden is all messy right now… but actually 1. Extreme Wind 2. Extreme Rain 3. Pests those are my biggest challenges in the garden then of course there is me being inconsistent and ignorant.
Monday: Two weeks ago sick, last week better, his week sick with the flu after recovering from a strep throat. I wanted to get a schedule going but haven’t been doing well about it lately.
The goal was: 6AM Exercise B25, 8 AM garden, 10AM spend time outside, 11 AM music, 2PM be a good person, 3PM draw, 5PM clean the house, finish the paperwork when the new desk comes, and 6PM get organized. But the kids were too thrown off by being sick so it shifted to getting through meals and light English home work.
Reflections – Gardener: I have hope for the future, but specifically this week the greenhouse is knocked down, everything is broken or breaking, it will take time to get back to zero, it is sad to see everything get knocked down by the storm.
Tuesday: Last week I felt brain dead. This week I was really sick, so I guess it was coming on from last week.
Reflections – Habit Engineer: I still want to get back to exercising, but not in the middle of this flu, when it’s over. Lately I’ve noticed I don’t have the strength to do garden stuff some days because I’m sick, but I don’t want to slowly loose all the strength I had either.
Wednesday: Last week I stayed home, this week I stayed home too, I miss my friends but I don’t want to get them sick either, many have little kids and I would hate if any babies got scarlet fever bad from my kids. I got even more sick than I was and wasn’t able to do any paperwork so now I’m behind in that. I got sick enough to stop feeling guilty about what I wasn’t able to do, I was very nauseated and couldn’t walk down the hallway without being dizzy and sitting down, there wasn’t much I could have done that day.
Thursday: Last week I made a spontaneous front walkway cinder block garden. I just put some oregano transplants in there. It went through the storm really well, humble looking but stands up to this climate well. I was really frustrated adjusting to my dad coming back, he is very active and gets things done and I am not that much able to be like that when well, but especially not when I am sick or the kids are sick. It kind of rubs salt in my wounds being around my dad who gets things done and seldom gets sick, but I know there are costs to his productivity, I put people first and productivity second on purpose and I remember him taking care of me second and working first and it degrades a relationship. So we all make choices and do what seems best or possible and we all have different skills, but standing next to my dad I always feel disappointed I can’t get things done at his pace and I don’t think I ever will. But the things I can do are different things, working at a slower pace makes more things possible and especially most people need to go at a slower pace so working fast leaves you alone often. A lot of inadequacy and disappointment bubbling up today.
Friday: Last week I was optimistic about the garden and life. This week I was frustrated with being sick and the kids being sick and wondering how I will have energy to tidy the garden when it is worse than before and I have less energy and how I will catch up on paperwork when I haven’t been able to set down to work on it for so many months now. I don’t trust myself, but I know I am sick so I don’t hate myself, but still I lack confidence that I will get my life organized even when I do get better.
Something new this week: The cinderblock garden was finished in time to see it did really well in the storm.
Something good this week: We all survived scarlet fever.
Something unexpected: We released a green anole we caught after keeping it for a few days, it was pretty seeing it go free.