๐Ÿ’ก Eudemonia ๐Ÿฅ‘

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Eudemonia = Flourishing

Greek eudaimonia, from eudaimon having a good indwelling spirit. *

Socrates believed that human beings desire the state of Eudaimonia more than anything else. However, his understanding of Eudaimonia was developing a sense of personal growth, such as courage, self-control, and wisdom allowing an individualsโ€™ psychological well-being to flourish. *

My definition of eudemonia: Not a life without struggle, but a life with all the essentials, which also allows for the finer parts of life, balance, purpose, impact, love, in a sense the opposite of holistic poverty. Not over abundance, not under abundance, life in balance.

It started with a promise from me to me. My maternal grandfather though outwardly successful, was quite miserable on a daily basis, it taught me at a young age money, academics, career success and just having a family wouldn’t create a happy life. I also wasn’t happy growing up in a family that didn’t share my values and celebrate my individuality as much as they held their own dreams of what they wanted that I could become, so I made “that promise.” The promise to do better when I became an adult.

As an adult, there is so much going on, when I started working I wasn’t done with school, so life felt like it doubled in complexity, with bills/taxes/health care adults have to deal with that kids don’t have to deal with directly if feels like the complexity of life tripled and it has never begun to feel natural to me even though I’ve been an adult for almost 20 years already.

I don’t feel like a real adult.

I’ve been drawn to the Indian chakra system not as a literal guide to follow, because I feel like it isn’t totally applicable or helpful in a literal rigid sense. But as a way to break up life into chunks to even begin to think about it, in that way I do like it a lot.

Two years ago I made this chart to describe a balance of all the areas of life in the way they interact with one another. For example love, love can be romantic bliss, but also toxic codependence, but also natural duty to children, but also true love with children and friends, or self love and acceptance, it can be so many things and flow so many ways, it can be a $10 birthday card, a sandwich, a hug or not yelling about spilt milk just as much as it could be inheritance, a huge wedding, an anniversary dinner, sexuality or a couples vacation. I really think the small acts of love outweigh the grand formal ones, but maybe that’s just in my life… I read a good book “Happy Money” that says money is love too, or can be, if you give it with that intent and let it flow without fear and resentment.

So love is the first axis of life (the colorful one), we clean up after our loved ones, we protect them, we pay for them/or them us, that is all duty, doesn’t seem to be spoken of much, but a lot of the day is consumed by the duties we do out of love. At the other end is the love we think of as love, which takes us away from our family and to a special place in our soul. In the middle is a place where there is some joy in living from following your heart, but also some stability to be able to survive in reality and the well being from having both those aspects allows you to find where your unique talents and the needs of the world intersect and then you can serve others in an engaging way not just in a grueling way or ignoring the rest of the world because you don’t need them…

So I’ll define the chakras in my understanding, which is quite far from conventional, the first three are survival mode = 1. A. Fighting to Exist. 2. B. Coping with Stress 3. C. Fitting into Society. D. Discovering Inner Peace/Love. If you fail to do A you no longer exist independently or interdependently and you die or become very dependent or codependent on others and that corrupts a lot of other parts of your soul, like it makes you incapable of loving yourself sometimes, instead you want the approval of others because that is linked to your feeling of safety, because it’s through others you can survive. If you fail to do B you can look very much alright on the outside for a long while, but you are not alright, you partially or completely loose the feeling of being alright, it damages your mental clarity of who you are, who you can be, how to set goals, how to make changes, it steals your sense that anything matters anyways. If you fail to do C you may be in prison or if not in prison possibly isolated creatively or financially or in some sense cut off of resources that are usually normal, but also cut off from finding people who would be enjoyable company, who would inspire and uplift you. If you fail to do D you will have lived your life without exiting survival mode, living without living, life without joy, an image of food with no flavor, a note with no song.

I’ve struggled with all these parts of life in the past, but I’m lucky that I found a lot of ideas that helped me escape the mental cages I was making for myself. A lot of the happiness I had or didn’t have was rooted in beliefs about the world, which weren’t true, sometimes difficult, negative things are true and have to be grieved, but often we make more suffering than there already was in our lives by the way we choose to replay bad times more than neccisary, or the way we don’t revisit the good times enough. It’s actually natural for people to remember bad things x9 more than good things, so just to be balanced we would have to focus on positive things x9 more than natural, not to be a cheerful, goofy, idiot, but just to be balanced, that’s how dark we are by nature on average.

I know I’m that dark.

So the second axis of life is mind or mindsight (the dark and light one), we range from sanity (being able to recognize truth around us in our environment, such as the stove is hot and will burn me) to imagination (being able to dream of what isn’t there yet, but could be). I’m a pretty creative person, but I notice there is a limit to ideas people can have, where beyond a certain number, no matter how good the ideas are, they aren’t getting done. Because we all have limits, limits in money, time, energy, are real, and to accept our limits, to know them is to accept and know ourselves and begin to love ourselves the way we really are. Down that road you can have a happy love life even as a party of one because the most constantly available love is self-love (even more available than religious love logistically, because there is a time before you understand that idea when self-love was always possible).

Without imagination, we would live in the world the same way each day, or as close as we could. We wouldn’t be able to be a better person over time before we improve it takes some sanity to see our flaws honestly and heal from that pain, but it also takes some imagination to dream of something that isn’t yet in existence, then make it so.

So the chakras of mindsight are E. Knowing Truth and F. Embracing Change. It’s tempting to ignore truth as a coping mechanism, a lot of positive belief cults are popular right now, but if imagining a goal brought it about goal books would have a lot more pages… because it’s a lot more like the seven-step engineering process. *

1. Define. 2. Research. 3. Imagine. 4. Plan. 5. Prototype. 6. Test. 7. Improve the prototype based on noticing what worked and what didn’t. Life is a lot more like that seven-step process than a two-step imagine what you want and emotionally wish for it to happen hoax, but that positive creative state, has a place within a more complicated reality, it’s just that it isn’t the whole story. Chakra G is where the needs of the world and your talents intersect you change the world for the better, you do your life purpose or at least flow activities and growth.

What is love? For me separating love into “connection” and “care” helps. Connection means knowing someone else’s hopes and dreams, fears, and preferences, keeping a current understanding of another human being instead of just substituting outdated information to save time… care is doing all the little things that keep people alive, brushing hair, feeding, bathing ext. Of course care has a double meaning that something feels relevant, but it would be impossible for a parent to care about each idea/drawing/preference/fancy a child has, though they can care about many, you simply can’t keep up with every single event in each child’s mental life because you have your own thoughts/ideas/responsibilities and possibly other children, so creating an environment where you always care, is kind of a hoax I think and an environment where you care sometimes or a lot is probably more attainable. I believe it isn’t an either-or, but a gradient, meaning too much in, either way, is worse than a mix.

What is encouragement? Often family says what you want isn’t possible, because it isn’t possible for them, or they may want you to fail and stay with them forever, or they may want you not to get hurt trying. But I find when I surround myself with people who don’t tell me A. Don’t try because you will/may fail. B. That’s a good idea or that’s cool. It drives me to be able to tolerate the pain of failure in a happier way and get more ideas about how to succeed. I hope you have encouragement within your family, but if you don’t seek it or at least accept it elsewhere, because it helps more than you would think.

In Summary Chakras 1-3: Survival Mode

1. Fighting to Exist. 2. Coping with Stress 3. Fitting into Society.

Ex. During a tornado I’m seeking shelter, after the tornado I’m reading a book at the red cross camp, after the camp I’m finding an affordable place to live…

Chakras 4-6: Self Work Chakra 7: Being a Healthy Part of Humanity as a Non-Toxic Whole

4. Discovering Inner Peace/Love. E. Knowing Truth and F. Embracing Change. G. Leading a Good Life – Giving Back

Ex. I’m in my apartment mentally decompressing to find inner peace, I’m realizing the truth that my house/pretend family are gone, weeks and months go by and I learn to live in a new way, eventually I start teaching community classes again.

As a final note I would say I believe eudemonia is the same as Lลkahi the Hawaiian value and that traditional Hawaiian ethics are very close to stoic ethics.

๐Ÿ“š Random Old Post Rewrite: This post was just redone and is a lot different than it was two years ago, but I decided not to keep both, but rather to keep updating old posts into new posts of the same topic, I feel like anything “worth saving” was saved, but I also like the idea of a living written think tank, better than a log of whatever I’ve written. As a blogger I am mostly a writer, but I like to play with the limits of what is the difference between a blog and a written journal, one of course is readers, another is getting good ideas from commenting readers, another is being able to have photos/videos making me learn more about photography/videography over time, another is the chance to really “update” ideas (which I can use a random number generator to randomly select by number).

โœ๏ธ 100 Blog Post Journey ๐Ÿชž


all the best

Who am I?

By kindergarten, I was already a writer. Hunched over my small, desk/chair, prision cell thing, I didn’t have enough lines on the journal page (under the picture drawing area), to say what I wanted to say. Once prompted, I had something to say. I was so integrated with my internal voice, that I felt like I was running downhill, as the words cascaded onto the page, filling the front, side margin and then the back with my thoughts converted to lines of graphite. Over time my voice was silenced by the rules of academia, forced repetition, citation of all ideas, essentially killed any chance for me to communicate any of my own original ideas in any of my own style. Love eventually turned to hate. But after getting my degree I’m not beholden to the shackles of acadamia, I can start a sentence with the word “but” if I damn well please, and my paragraphs may have a completely crazy number of sentences if that pleases me, and it does.

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Why Did I Start This Blog?

So I started this blog to be my white, armchair sitting cat, who I stroke for the hell of it, as I laugh (to not cry) at the joy, beauty, pain and ugliness of life. I plan to make this mental space a fun and safe place for my creative self to live. For me, this place is more than a blog, because it will host my Audible Book Fight Club and the blibary. This is a digital representation of my mind, heart and soul, my experience as a human being on Earth. I’m specifically writing 100 free form blog posts, in response to Mark Manson’s personal challenge to me (yeah it’s personal, because I took it personally…). So here I am at middle age, finding my lost voice as a writer, with the time I have since I didn’t get into medical school as planned (the new plan is to get in as a donated corpse).

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My Inspiration to Write

I deny being insired to write, for me, writing is instinctual; A natural part of being alive, which I have to block if I don’t want to do it. It’s my soul’s path of least resistance to get to a state of flow. I think writing is the natural digestion of thoughts, which readers ingest mentally. Writing feels right to me at this point in my life, for reasons yet unknown.

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How Did I Get My Sh*t Together?

I’ve always been a writer, but I’m just starting right now (this very sentence) to be serious about actually producing writing on a consistent basis. Now is the time because, I’ve got my shit together at a higher lever than ever before, and also because I learned to stop doing everything my loved ones would roll downhill for me to do as I slowly die inside. Initially I accidentally purchased a year of Instacart, food delivery, instead of just trying it (which I was trying to do), so then I thought, what if instead of the hassle of cancelling, I use that saved time to do something worthwhile in my life for this year just to see what happens? And what came to mind was writing. So I made the jump between observer/planner/wisher to doer/writer/jumper. Later my husband took over the shopping and more and more mundane things I stopped doing, which is awesome, but he never picked up any burdens I didn’t set down first.

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Guiding Lights

There were a few things that made a difference to me, Mark Manson’s book “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,” was the first step towards defeating my deep fear of failure and imperfection, the guiding light was Charles Duhigg’s “The Power of Habit,” which let me know I had the power and the responsibility of living my life how I wanted to live it (because I’m no sleep walking murderer). I had two years of proactivity denial and time management struggles, but I changed and have been living my best life, as best I can, for a few weeks already, which for the most part means living by my values first, not as an after thought, on a daily basis.

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Isn’t Living by Your Values Everyday Too Hard?

Yes and no. Not every value everyday, not an essay and a drawing about how it happened in my journal everyday, but living by one or two of my values each day kills that horrible “did I do enough” feeling I get otherwise. If you never read another post, please take this knowledge with you: there is a free website http://www.lifevaluesinventory.org, which lists a lot of values people don’t talk about in everyday life, it helps you rank them based on how significant they are to you, and then helps you troubleshoot difficulties between values and how to fit them into your life harmoneously. In six seconds a day, you can live by your own values, and it will make you feel better about yourself and your life. I’ll detail the steps of value based living in further posts, but it’s also on http://www.lifevaluesinventory.org totally free. If you only used the internet once in your lifetime, I think finding your soul’s unique value mosaic is the most significant thing you could do with a half hour of your time.

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Summary of Life Value Invetory’s Guide to Living by Your Values:

Part A: Recognize you are in control of your own life/destiny.

Part B: Learn about different values.

Part C: Pick which value from your own heart to live by today.

1. Think or Write: What do I want to do today to live by my value of _?

2. Think or Write: What can I do today with what conditions (time, money, help, ability) I actually have?

3. Do That, As Best You Can

4.  Think or Write: What you appreciate about what you did do (let go of anything you didn’t do).

5. Write: One thing you learned today, that can help you through tomorrow.

Random Personal Example:

1. Set my value for today: Persistence.

2. What do I want? Show my kids how to garden for fun and to be outside.

3. What can I do? After breakfast, start outside play until lunch, relax if the weather isn’t right.

4. Did I? Yes, yay!

5. Celebrate the effort/journey! My daughter helped me make a fence on a new veggie bed. It was fun.

(So it’s not a big fancy hard thing, but it can be tricky to set aside time to think about it and it can be a big thing, emotionally, gives me a sense of purpose, impact, control over my life, significance, that increases my resilience and helps buffer some of the hard parts of life.)

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My Journey

It took me a lot of trial and error, what sounded good, what I thought my values were, didn’t really resonate with my soul, but letting go of what doesn’t fit freed me to reinvent myself and learn how to ascribe truthful meaning and satisfaction in my life and the past few years have brought me more satisfaction, with who I am as a person, and my own integrity, than anything else has. I found a deep well of satisfaction, previously missing from my life, when I uncovered and started living by my values.


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Most of the first year went to fear, the second to procrastinating, the third to putting my life in order and only in this fourth year do I remotely have my sh*t together at all.


Did you think I would finish? Spoiler alert I did. What I learned about myself among other things is it takes 1262 days for me to write 100 articles. It wasn’t at the same pace, last year I wrote 60 posts total last year, this year I wrote 60 posts in 7 months… so writing accelerated. Shyness eased. Perfectionism evaporated. Quality hopefully improved (but at least didn’t drop – I guess why would it?). Check out the centennial post if your interested or live in the present with my most recent post instead.

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I’ve had wonderful readers! Thank you. ๐ŸŒน


I took about four years for me to feel comfortable in my own skin as a writer, my whole life people have said “I like your writing,” “you should write” but it’s only very recently that I’ve felt like “I like my writing,” “I should write.” Sounds similar, but it isn’t. It’s one small step for man, but one giant leap for my confidence. Four years ago I wanted to begin a blog, but I didn’t know how to write without second guessing myself, I didn’t know how to finish original images in a way that didn’t take forever and I didn’t know how to run the technical end (which seems easy to people with advanced tech skills, but really isn’t that easy for the average person). So I struggled with each side of blogging, the writing, the images and the tech of the links ext. I’m not an expert by now, but most problems I can solve myself that same day, without quitting or getting angry. There is a ton of artistry to blogging that isn’t talked about much, beyond marketing, having things short form doesn’t mean loss of content, it means really subliming a concept or process mentally in order to have it be short form, people expect videos to be fast, articles to be summarized, but without a loss of information. Also each blog is unique like boats, some boats haul cargo, some people, some both, some are hand crafted, some are toys, some are weapons, blogs are like boats, very diverse in function, style, form and purpose. So no one can really break down the journey for most blogs, because most of us are going somewhere new. The average blogger doesn’t set out to copy a successful blog, which would be okay in most cases, it really seems like we are the nomads of the web who keep migrating to a new frontier that will forever be limitless. I think it’s wrong to say we find niches, to me it feels more like we spin tapestries, together, in a complicated interplay. Some people’s tapestry maybe all blue or all red, but I feel like they are still tapestries. Or maybe it’s just me? Be I don’t think so. I think Rachel Macy Stafford is always building on herself, never off topic with who she was to begin with in Hands Free Mama, I know Lovie Price reflects back between where she was looking forward and where she is looking back, I suspect Mark Manson is forever questioning if he should revise his old articles as his opinions do another 180ยฐ in light of new growth or new evidence. When I first wrote this article I was kind of unsure of myself, quite embarrassed, but it is my internal truth and I still find it to be four years later, I’m glad to have it, so I don’t forget that once I didn’t think an ordinary person like me could really find a way to live by my values in everyday life and there was a way that I found out it wasn’t as hard as I thought and it was well worth the effort, because to a certain type of person it’s a huge joy.

“The highest good was the virtuous life. Virtue alone is happiness, and vice is unhappiness.”

– Marcus Aurelius

Anyways I now recommend Russ Harris’ value list, though actually it missed the number 1 Asian value “wa” or harmony, so that perhaps a good place to start is African or Hawaiian values or simply looking inward at the times in your life that seem the most significant. Living by both old and new values, I have found modern values hold more traps towards unhappy outcomes. Kind of like bad classical music is already lost, but what is left is epic. New music has wonderful pieces, equal to any classic, but there is a ton of … filler and chaff that you have to watch out for yourself in modern music. I’m Asian, but I find Asian values are often a way for the country to get people to fall in line for the good of the country, I would say the same of american values also, so that it’s not a problem per se to value the group, but it leaves part of your soul empty, the part which was meant to know about your own needs, purpose and aspirations even when they don’t happen to coincide with what would be best for the group. To be interdependent is to know both your needs and who you are and also the group, not just one or the other, but it’s easy (yet difficult) to understand that people who want something from you have a motive for not wanting you to decide for yourself what is best for your own body mind and soul.